DEEP RELEASE OF PAST TRAUMA [1]

DEEP RELEASE OF PAST TRAUMA

 

It is not enough to say that we are happy, if we are still suppressing deep or unconscious sadness, resentment, fear, trauma, guilt, or any number of other negative emotions. It is not enough to just say they are gone if they are not completely gone.

There are techniques that can help us to release past feelings even if we are not fully aware of those troubling feelings.

One way is to notice when one is upset with someone else. This kind of upset means that the person is somehow activating unconscious pain – or it may be that we perceive their pain and feel responsible for it.

 If it is one’s own unconscious pain being activated, one may feel angry or fearful of that person. Then it is necessary to deeply contact, transmute and release that past emotional trauma. It is deep work. One has to WILL transmutation and have the courage and the conviction to carry it through to the end. Sometimes it will pop up again and then it is necessary to do more inner work.

If one perceives another person’s pain or fear, it is very important not to try to do the work for that person. In trying to rescue someone else from their past, we take away their power to do this on their own. It is not possible to release someone else’s sorrow FOR them. There are ways to help another person, which may be discussed in more detail in another message. The best thing to do is to send them love and light without becoming entangled with their emotional universe.

Releasing one’s own trauma is work enough. It can be frustrating when a particular trauma resurfaces again and again, when one thinks it is already gone. Sometimes we accidentally identify ourselves so strongly with our pain that even trying to let it go seems to be too painful. This type of pain is sometimes from a childhood trauma, or sometimes the pain is self-inflicted. I personally have a tendency to inflict pain upon myself because I do not completely love myself. I can easily forgive others, but I hold myself to impossibly high standards.  This is like a vicious circle: if I cannot love myself enough, I cannot release my pain, and if I cannot release my pain, then I cannot love myself enough.

One thing I do in order to try to transmute these feelings into love is to seek out the source of my pain without re-experiencing it. Then I can look at my pain more calmly, and root out the cause of it. One such experience occurred yesterday. For much of my life I felt that I had been deeply hurt by a man called “Uncle Wayne.” I was terribly afraid of love and did not even truly love my first and second husbands, nor the father of my son. I believe that the love between a man and a woman was painful and that I would be lost if I gave in to love or this type. I separated my physical activity from my feelings and told myself that I was performing a service by doing so – that I was being unselfish. However, I have a cousin who has traced our family tree, and I talked with her about this. She looked on ancestry.com, and she found this Uncle Wayne. He really existed and he really was my uncle. I knew from my parents that he had lived in our basement for a time when he was out of work. I had been afraid of the basement for a long time.

I did not re-experience what happened, nor did I try to remember exactly what happened. But knowing that this man truly existed and was part of my family helped me. My feelings were validated. It is important to validate our feelings, as a part of the process of letting them go.  Validation of feelings does not always require specific research of an incident, but in this case for me that validation required specifics.  My cousin provided the facts I needed, and she assured me that she loves me. She gave me some information on how memory works in the brain, and that helped also. She shared with me some of the information about my family that I did not know, and I began to open up more to being loved. Since that day, only two days ago, I have been seeing more love in the eyes of the people around me.  I realized that they were not trying to change me, only to come closer to me. I began to let them in.

Transmutation of feelings is a type of psychic alchemy.  The feelings are not hidden or suppressed, but they are actually changed, permanently. I am no longer afraid of Uncle Wayne, and that helps me to open up to more love. Transmutation can be performed just by getting the information you need to let something go; but at other times it can be useful to perform a ritual. Sometimes it is good to take some time and write out the feelings and where you think they may have come from. Then you can actually boil the feelings and let them simmer for awhile until even the fragrance of the feeling is gone. Then writing one or two words, or perhaps a name, on paper and burning it in the flame of a white candle will help to release the feelings. Or you can burn the feelings within yourself by using the violet flame of love. You can capture the feelings inside a crystal and then clear the crystal with saltwater and sunshine. One can be very imaginative in how to perform this task. I am only giving a few guidelines that have worked for me.

The most important thing to realize, once one has released something, is to “backfill with love.” The feeling that has been banished will try to return, as it became part of the ego and the ego wants that feeling back. Getting rid of the feeling has left a hole, and it is extremely important to fill that hole deeply with a very strong love. A way to picture this is to imagine an apple that has had a worm in it. When the worm is gone, there is still a hole where the worm was living. Sometimes a little bit of “psychic surgery” is needed,  to remove the influence of the worm and to make the apple good to eat again. One can clear away the edges where the pain was, cauterize them with the flame of love, and then implant love into those holes where the pain used to be. One can imagine it as planting flowers. These seeds implanted will grow and bloom into glorious flowers, and the ego cannot stop this blossoming unless one allows it to do so.

I came into this life in very dark density, and I resented that for a long time. But then I realized that I have a tendency to want to complete difficult tasks. So now I believe that I asked for a very difficult beginning, so that I could learn how to emerge from the struggle and leave it behind.

For those who ask “Why are the ships not coming yet?” I would reply, “Because they are giving us time to perform this inner work so that we will not be afraid of love.” When I was young, I thought that my job here was to reconcile paradoxes. I tried to integrate things that do not need to be integrated. It was an interesting intellectual exercise, and it was fun, but it was not the real work of this lifetime. Yin and yang have been around for a very long time, and it is not necessary for us to integrate them, they will come together in the way they are supposed to come together.

The real work is to integrate ourselves with love.  People tend to think that this should be easy, but for some of us it is hard but very rewarding inner work.

Another task to perform, after backfilling our emotional voids with love, is to allow that love to radiate out. Love is a flow, not an object. Love is an energy, not a thing. Love is alive. The more inner work I do the more alive I feel.