Good Grief

Lately I have just been so depressed. It seems like emotional issue after emotional issue keep coming up, the next more painful than before. The most recent has been my family life. I was in a very deep meditation, usually I just quiet my mind and listen, but this time I decided to look for answers. I began by asking myself how I feel, why I feel that way, and what to do with the feelings. It came down to a deep knowing that I have something of great value to give, and my soul wants to give it so badly that it hurt at the time of revelation. I then started thinking about my ex, and how fulfilled being in a relationship like that made me feel, and how now I feel this deep deep feeling of missing something that I am to receive. My family and I are falling out, and this deep intense feeling of missing something is the feeling of missing my family. But not this family. I almost want to cry when I think about the love that I feel is missing from these people, and I feel like I've left my family to come here, and now all I want is to be with them again.  It's a feeling of being deserted by unconditional love and shit on. There's no more doubt in my mind that I am a starseed. And this feeling of something to give, this is my mission. I've been getting a lot of 5 sequences and this fallout with my family is the beginning of my authentic purpose. I'm not sure why I'm writing this right now, I guess to vent. I feel so annoyed by this world, I'm so tired of it. The way people create there own misery and don't even see it makes me so sick to my stomach. I am so ready. Strap up my niggas it's past due time.