Why Is Real Change So Difficult?

will's picture

Note that I said real change, I'm not talking about switching from drinking Coke to Pepsi, changing political parties, switching religions, or changing your diet because of some article you read online. I'm talking about real changes, not superficial things, but deep, lasting changes that are a part of your growth as a human being. Things like becoming more loving, more compassionate, living with honesty, integrity and responsibility. Releasing fears and living freely and joyfully. How do we bring these kinds changes into our lives?

Superficial change is easy, the underlying patterns don't have to change, only the surface beliefs. Your identification with one limiting thought is just traded for another limiting thought. These kinds of changes occur all the time, once the novelty of one belief is worn out, it simply gets exchanged for another. Sooner or later though, the inherent emptiness of these types of changes becomes apparent. They're food for the mind, but they leave the Soul hungry.

So why is substantial change so difficult? Well, it's really not that difficult, or rather, it's as easy or as difficult as you make it for yourself. Most everyone has been taught to resist change, though it's largely unconscious. It's rare that a parent will tell a child directly that change is bad, but it is still taught through actions. Life becomes very structured, the same static patterns repeating over and over again, each day just like the last. Then the child goes to school, where repeating the same patterns is strictly enforced, then they get a job, and they get even more locked into this rigidly structured life.

You could let all of that go right now, you're perfectly free to do so. Where I live, in the United States, citizens have every right to direct their own lives, yet it rarely happens. This is because most people are simply continuing patterns that have existed since before they were born, and also because of the greatest tool for enforcing any system of conformity, fear. If you can create fear in people, they will lock themselves up in their own cage. Their own minds will impose limitations without any physical control needed. Just look at any conservative politician, their whole careers are based around resisting change, and fear is their greatest weapon.

To truly embrace change, we must release our fear of the unknown. You don't know with any certainty what's going to happen tomorrow, you can't even be sure of what's going to happen in the next minute. Isn't this true? The whole "future" is unknown, you are living a life where anything could happen, don't pretend this isn't true. Accept that you're living the unknown in this moment, and your fears of the unknown, and hence change, will start to fade.

Another thing that makes change so difficult is the fact that we have such a hard time letting go. When a person does go through a major personal evolution, it's often only after some major tragedy. The death of a loved one, a crippling injury, I'm sure you've heard stories along these lines. Often people only seek deep change after the problems in their life become unavoidable, it's being reactive instead of proactive. I've seen it many times that people only actively seek God when they're unhappy. This is making misery into a prerequisite for your own evolution, see the problem? Seeking God brings joy, but in that joy you get lazy and stop moving forward. The joy fades and unhappiness starts to creep in, then the cycle repeats itself. Be very careful of this pattern, I know I've fallen into it a few times.

If great change only comes after great difficulty for you, what's going to happen if you ask God to bring great change into your life? For some people, that's what it takes to get them to let go of what is holding them back, but it doesn't have to be that way. Not that you can avoid all the unconscious pain and emotions if you truly want to grow, but you don't have to do things in a way that amplifies them either. There's an easier way, so long as you learn to live in the moment, embrace the unknown, and always keep your heart open to the Divine. Shake things up, try new things, learn new skills, especially if you're clinging to bullshit excuses like, "I'm too old" or "It's too hard". There's so much positive change possible in every moment, and you're the only one stopping you.

 

The Galactic Free Press
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