by Now, it is not the “lot of cleverness” accumulated in me who wants to talk to the “lot of cleverness” accumulated in you. Now it is not the mind, wishing to initiate a mind game with another mind. We now avoid all the cleverness, wittiness, beliefs and dogmas, and the spirit living in me is going to address the spirit living in you. Consciousness is talking to the Consciousness in you.
These are the words of the living spirit hiding inside you, contacting the living spirit hiding in you. Read it therefore slowly and understand my message.
And I am talking to you as follows:
You are now here, reading these lines. These lines were, in fact, not written, read and understood by somebody else, but your own spiritual self, hiding deep inside you. You sense and you know, that I–what you call I–talk to you now. You have written these lines, and they contain a message to you.
I am looking into myself, pierce the superficiality of the ordinary world, in order to reach my real Self, and I know:
I have a body, exposed to illnesses, which will certainly perish one day. I will die. The movie of my life will end and I fall into the great Nothingness. I will make my final exit from the stage of life.
I cannot take away with me anything from this world. I can take nothing. No-thing. That is, more precisely, it is only the No-thing that I can take away, as this living, sparkling No-thing is Me–but I will discuss it later. I disappear from the stage of life. I arrived naked, and I will depart naked.
I am tortured by countless thoughts. I am preoccupied by great, tormenting ideas. I’m dwelling on the past, or planning the future. Or I’m afraid of the future. What’s going to happen to me? What’s the meaning of my life?
My soul is saturated by a number of emotions. Sometimes I have fun, and sometimes I am sad. Sometimes I love, and sometimes I hate. Passionately. I suffer. I know that I suffer, as I submerge into the swamp of my emotions.
And there is also something in me, something that I know nothing about. Absolutely nothing. I feel, I know and experience that there is a mysterious “something” inside me, in the background of my thoughts and emotions.
I am. I am there. I am the consciousness hiding there deep inside. I am here and now the intellect, the Consciousness reading these lines. I am the Secret I am looking for.
Who is reading these lines now through my eyes? Who uses my body to live in this world?
Is it possible that I am the spirit? The soul? Something divine? But let us not involve God in here. We have far too many God-images and ideas about God. We are looking for Him, and it is possible that He is looking through our eyes.
It is easily possible that it is not your body that has a spirit, but your spirit has a body. You may easily be an incarnated spirit, though it is such a daring statement that because of a lot of cultural and religious concepts we tend to balk at announcing it openly. Let us leave the beliefs behind now, and insist on direct experience. Then you do not need to believe something, you will experience it directly instead. There is no blind faith, only experience.
Let us be quiet, hidden in the mysteriousness of ourselves, and let us see what we find there.
You sense and you know that you are. You exist. Something mysterious lives Life through you. Life lives through you, through your body in this world.
You are the manifestation of life.
DO YOU SEE IT? YOU ARE THE INCARNATION OF LIFE.
There is something in you that is watching. Sort of a witness, watching the world, it analyses the world, compares the details, labels things good and bad, is scared and pleased, experiences all kinds of thoughts and emotions. There is a spirit in you, some sort of a soul that is alive: it has thoughts and emotions. But this spirit is more than the body, the thoughts and emotions.
I am not equal with my body only. I am also the Consciousness, the intellect living in the body.
I live here and now. In the world. In my own world. In the prison of my body and my world. In my own hell? Yes, perhaps.
I am the one who affects the world through me. I make your heart beat, I breath through your heart, in grow your body. I operate you. Like a spirit in a machinery. I am the spirit that lives in your body.
The image created in you, the image projected into the space of Consciousness is your own world. You have created the world for yourself.
Our worlds are similar, but they are still different. Your world reflects your own system of beliefs, mine reflects my system of beliefs. In the shadow of all those beliefs I do not even know who I am.
I am lost in all those roles, in the whirling thoughts and emotions. I know nothing about myself any more.
Or perhaps I do? Now I do. I have recognized myself.
I am the spirit who lives in you right at this moment. I am the mysterious knowledge that knows about everything. I think and I experience my emotions. I live in this body. The spirit, the real Self. Or you may call me whatever you wish. You may call me God, if you are a follower of Oriental and esoteric disciplines. You may call me Soul, if you are a follower of the Western mass religions. Or feel free to call me complexity, if science is your God.
I am the Life manifested in you. I am the Life that lives through you. Im the Life that has myriad forms and now, in this very body–in your body, in my body–I live in this world, in our world.
I am talking to myself. Now this spirit talks to the spirit living in you. Which is, in fact, the same. The spirit living in you and the one living in me are the same. There are no separate spirits, there is only One spirit, that has dressed into innumerable bodies.
It is a piece of rock, or a gently waving blade of grass. This spirit gives us wamrth from the Sun. It is the breathtakingly beautiful flower, the cloud floating in the sky, the melodious call of the birds. Everything that exists is nothing but the Self, the Spirit that you call “I”.
These are all the reflections of the same Spirit in an infinite number of forms.
When I see the shine in your eyes, the life hiding in your eyes, the radiation of life, I know that you are also the Spirit. You are also the Spirit. Just in another body. And now you are playing the role of your life.
Now, perhaps just for a split second, you have seen something crystal clearly. You have just been astounded and recognized that your real Self is a spirit. A sensible, radiating, space-like emptiness, impalpable and indescribable something: the Spirit that lives in your body, thinking your thoughts and experiencing your emotions and sensing your physical sensations.
You awaken to your own Consciousness as a living, radiating, sensible “something”.
I AM.
I am your existence. I am the Spirit, your real self. The Spirit dressed up in a body, in order to play a number of roles in that life, in that form of existence. I, the Spirit play one role after the other on the stage of life, disguised in the mask of a personality.
Discover me. Discover the miracle, which reads through your eyes, understands what it reads and knows what I am talking about now.
I, the Spirit recognize myself. I, the Spirit recognize myself as a radiating knowledge.
And I recognize You as myself. I recognize you as My Self, dressed up in another body. As an other incarnation playing a role on the stage of life.
I am the Spirit hiding in you. I am reading these lines. Be aware of that, and recognize me, because that is what you have been longing for. You have been longing to know, recognize, vividly experience that You are a mysterious consciousness, a life.
You live inside your body and watch the outside world. You live inside your body, and scan the world through your eyes. You are the observer living in you. You are the one who is watching the world. You are a radiating Consciousness, a mysterious “I,” observing yourself and the world in the here and now, in this eternal now. This intellect is now watching in you and from you. This Consciousness is Me.
What is our mission in this world? Why did we come here? Why are we incarnated to be in this world? I am asking it, the Self living in you, why I have dressed up into all these fascinating forms and bodies? What is this life? A miracle. The entire life is a miracle.
Even the scientists are baffled: some prominent representatives of quantum physics believe that there is nothing but the observing Consciousness. Dr. Amit Goswami, quantum physicist, asserts that everything that exists is derived from the same thing: Consciousness. Everything that exists is only the Consciousness, and there is nothing outside the Consciousness. Prominent scientists claim that with the help of science we have re-discovered God.
Everybody experiences themselves as a Spirit in the same manner. Those -who have woken up from the dream of a multitude of thoughts- will see the Spirit in the same way. It is possible to circumscribe it, but it is not possible to describe it accurately. You may point at it in words, but the important thing is that it is possible to experience it directly.
Experience that you are. You exist. Abandon yourself into the mystery of yourself. Allow yourself a little rest in the course of this new revelation. Allow yourself as much time as possible in this alert, vibrating knowledge.
Allow the Spirit to be aware of itself again. More and more frequently and for longer and longer time. Until it becomes permanent.
Be aware of yourself and the world when you are in a state of relaxation, having a rest in your body. Be aware at all times that you are a Spirit, an incarnated creature on the stage of the world, playing your roles. Sometimes you are stunned and troubled in the play, sometimes you forget about yourself and cry, laugh, make plans or are worried, as dictated by your role. But it does not matter. No problem at all. It is all the game of the only Spirit. Sometimes a drama, sometimes a dark comedy, but always a great, divine play.
Now you know that there is no such thing as a “little self.” Only the roles that You have assumed. Consciously, or unconsciously. The “small self”, the ego that you used to call “I” is not real. It is just a set of thoughts, bundled together with emotions. The voice tweeting in your head is not somebody. The tyrannical voice tweeting in your head is not You. You are the one who invokes the thoughts. You are the one who experiences the emotions. All else is just roles on the stage of the world. Feel free to play your roles. You will come to no harm.
This role playing is exciting. It is exciting to play in a human form on this wonder planet teeming with life. It is exciting to know that You are the Spirit, and now you are fully involved in the “deadly serious” games of your life.
The only important thing you need to do is wake up. To wake up from the haze of your human roles, from the dream of the multitude of thoughts and realize who you really are. But do not attempt to intellectually comprehend with your mind what I have been talking about now. Experience your own self, and do not believe in any written or spoken word.
You are the Spirit, I am the Spirit. Do not make any dogma or system of faith out of this recognition. No more blind faith is needed. We have had enough. What we need now is the final recognition of the Spirit. It may redeem the world. That is how this dark comedy -this drama going on in the world created by ourselves- will turn into a wonderful human life on this beautiful planet and in a beautiful dream. You will thus redeem your own world.
The Spirit wakes up and jumps head start into the world created by itself. As a result of some magic, the Spirit incarnated in a spinning, troubled, enchanting world and is now holding its head: what am I doing here? It is holding its head, because it is stunned. It is stunned by the immense play, the performance that it takes deadly seriously. In this stunned state it tends to forget that its very existence is a miracle. Since you are here, you exist, here and now, in this world–shoulder that responsibility, be brave, be alive! Be alive at last!
Do not seek guidance from others, and do not accept such guidance as a faith. The only way for you to know what I am talking about is to return to the root of thoughts and emotions, to reach beyond all those beliefs and see that all the routine thoughts have become a prison around you. The walls of the prison suffocate you. Your personality is a prison around you. All those thoughts have covered up the space of Consciousness, like clouds cover the clear blue sky. You are the blue sky, the space, in which thoughts like clouds cover the radiation of the Consciousness.
Do not find yourself gurus. It does not make sense. You are now what you have always been. You are the Consciousness that thinks and feels. You are the Consciousness, a mysterious witness of your own life, a Consciousness that operates You.
If you believe anything blindly, you prevent yourself from experiencing things directly. Every idea is an obstacle in the way of recognition. What you may experience is nothing but your naked self. That self of yours that, as a baby, awakened to the miracle, to the magic of the world. That self of yours that you have always been beyond your roles. The self that withdraws from the game of life in order to find new incarnations.
Because this self is fond of playing. It loves to play the graceful, soft transformations of the myriad forms, it loves to dance on the stage of the world. Because this self is fond of creating. It creates a world to itself, a whirling, colorful, scented, tangible world, then it becomes a part of this world, and is lost in the daze of the world.
Be aware that now it is the Spirit that reads these lines. The Spirit talked to itself, as a Spirit dressed into a different body.
And now something miraculous happens. The Spirit awakens to its own Consciousness. The Spirit awakens in an increasing number of human forms from its long sleep and recognizes itself. Then, with this newly acquired knowledge to the world it created.
The Spirit awakens to its own existence, recognizes itself as a Spirit, so as to re-enter the game of the world. But this time it will not be stunned and dazed, it will be alert, and radiating aware that it is an incarnated Spirit that came to play in its world, to create, to admire the multitude of forms, the amazing wealth of individual things it has created. It returns to its own world, but it will always be aware that it is a spiritual creature, and it will consciously play with the forms, and consciously create–it will enjoy its own existence. It will enjoy life, the world, playing in the world.
When it addresses a Consciousness living in an other form as a Consciousness, the two Consciousnesses are combined into One, so as to experience itself as one single Spirit. The Spirit recognizes itself, and jumps head start into life, to play its role until finally it withdraws from its present body and recognizes itself again as the bodiless, impalpable, one and only Spirit. Then again it will be incarnated, and it abandons itself into the game. That is how it has been going on since the beginnings of time. The one and only Spirit is fond of playing and is also fond of waking up from the play. The self-recognizing Spirit and the Spirit lost in the play are the same: appreciate the awakening and the creation.
Now, in this life, and this individual world you have created for yourself: love. Consciousness, intellect is capable of loving through the form of a human. It experiences the sense of belonging, the binding force of love, the ecstasy of radiating love through a human form. Love, because love is the only emotion characteristic of the Spirit. All other emotions are just forms of love distorted and inhibited by the “small self,” that is, the ego.
Love yourself and love your fellow human creature, behind whose eyes there is the same mysterious shine.
Love the world, the creation and plaything of yourself.
If that is what you wish, just join the game, take part in it. If that is what you wish, withdraw from the game and enter the contemplating, observing Consciousness: when you have a peaceful rest in your body and you may see the miracle of yourself and of the world.
That is what the energy pulsating in the Spirit, the desire for creation requires. To create sometimes, and to retreat into itself sometimes. To experience the colourful whirling of emotions that arises in it, to learn the multitude of creative thoughts. To live, to live in the awareness of its own existence. And to enjoy the miracle of life to the fullest.
You are also this intangible intellect, Consciousness, the Spirit, do not try to deny that. Do not try to find excuses, theories, beliefs that deny that you are a living Consciousness. Instead, experience yourself!
Meditate, or pray if you so prefer. At the end of the prayer listen to God’s answer. The answer will just suddenly emerge from the inner silence. This is a quiet, soundless answer. There are no wods in it, just an immense, amazing revelation. The Consciousness awakens to its own existence.
It will be conscious more and more frequently and for longer and longer periods. It will find a rest in its body with ease, and then contemplate. It lives in the one and only, eternal “now,” it is always now forever, and the Consciousness will embrace completeness.
Submerge into yourself, into the Spirit hiding in you! Submerge into yourself!
This article was written by Ervin K. Kery and first appeared in The Secrets of Mindfulness
Learn more>> Ervin K. Kery & Frank M. Wanderer: The Ultimate Enlightenment: How to Find Your True Self in Mindfulness?
