Selfishness and Selflessness - Two Sides of the Same Coin

will's picture

To those used to dualistic thinking, these two things might seem completely different, but selfishness and selflessness are more closely related than one might believe. That's part of the illusion of duality, it takes something Whole, chops it in half, then tells you that you have to choose one or the other. Such limited thinking.

Selfishness, that's believing you're more important than others. Selflessness, that's believing others are more important than you. There's the illusion right there, the "more important" concept. Which part of Creation is more important than some other part? God doesn't create "more important" parts of the Universe, those who believe that don't understand Oneness or Unconditional Love. The Whole couldn't be Whole if it was missing a part, every single part is essential, none more important than another. The whole concept of "more important" is really just judgment created by a limited mind.

Life can't be lived dualistically, not unless you want to attract all sorts of suffering and ignorance into your life, and that's not really living anyway. The whole defining yourself as being selfish or selfless, that's part of the ego identity. What if you see everyone as Equal? What if you consider both yourself and others in your decisions? Then the whole selfless/selfish duality starts to lose all meaning.

I've seen more than a few people make themselves miserable because they allowed themselves to be taken advantage of, calling it "selflessness". I've seen more than a few people make themselves miserable by selfishly taking advantage of others. See how these things feed into each other? The "selfless" often enable abusive and selfish behavior in others and deem this "kindness". Like any dualistic concept, one "side" feeds into the other. Many, perhaps most, of the people who believe they're selfless are doing so for selfish reasons. They believe that being selfless is going to rewards them in this life or the next, and that being selfless is going to make them a "good person".

Ultimately, you're only in charge of yourself, and you are the center point in your life. This isn't an excuse to be selfish, it's just how things are. Not including yourself in your decisions is not only foolish, it's impossible. Neglecting yourself creates unhappiness and resentment within yourself, and that doesn't help other people at all, it just poisons interpersonal relationships. Discovering Love and Peace within yourself is key, and this is one of the greatest things you can do for other people as well. It's only when you find Love within that you can really share it with others, and through this Love grows even bigger. That's how God Is, God doesn't pick one thing and neglect another, God's Love flows freely to both equally. That's true healing, Unconditional Love, not the dualistic thinking of selfish/selfless.


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