The moment when your heart opens to the truth that lives around you.... It's indescribable. It is hope, love, gratitude, empathy, pain, joy, struggle and a host of so much more, yet with peace to the core.
The moment you realize that the posts you read on social media each day that aim to motivate ARE in fact for YOU!
The moment that you allow your heart to break and feel a flood of emotion to the likes of nothing you have ever imagined.
I've been so very emotional lately. Yet, there has been no real explanation for my tears, my sorrow, my joy, my pain... I honestly thought I was going slightly bonkers, but I still embraced the stage of life. I understand that much of my emotion comes from being a deep Empath. I used to always say that I didn't have too many friends, because each new person I let into my life was soul tied to my heart, and I could feel their emotions. DAMN, I did not know how true that was! And now, here I am... openly inviting all of you into my life and my world with complete honesty, transparency and love... and this sh^t is no joke! The funny thing is I wouldn't have it any other way and I even sometimes wish I could advance this journey just so I could reach out to so many more of you. Yet, I call out my ego for having those thoughts and check myself back into the current moment because I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this moment.
Ok, so I've been working on a few projects lately... hands are completely full. Yet this is one of the first times that I truly don't mind being so busy. I would honestly lose sleep for the sake of my work and I often do. I understand that I must take care of myself in order to give to others, yet sometimes it's just so damn difficult to not send that message, or not respond to that text even when I'm dog tired because I care! Let me ask you this... Do you ever find yourself feeling broke down, exhausted or otherwise; yet perk up your stance to come to the aid of another? You just might be alightworker!
I also often find myself at times getting down in the dumps because I don't feel as if I'm doingenough to progress myself and those around me for the sake of the bigger picture. I think about all the marches taking place near me that I miss, all of the articles that I should've written, all of the actions I should've taken when presented the opportunity to display love on a local or global scale. It sucks! I start to mock my own intentions and question my drive. I think, "self, why the hell are you just sitting here? Yes, it's fine and dandy that you write and post to high heaven, but what are you REALLY doing to invoke change?!"
Sometimes I get carried away by my thoughts. I become enveloped in the blanket of woulda-coulda-shoulda's and find myself paralyzed from sitting under the weight of sorrows, fears and disappointments. I ask questions and never seem to get the answers that I want. To make it all-the-worse, I sometimes sit and listen to music that exacerbates the emotions that I might be feeling at any given moment.
