You know the feeling, we all do…You’re angry, frustrated and/or upset with your partner. But rather than acknowledge it and communicate whatever the issue is to your partner, you rely on certain habits because you know them. But you also know the habits don’t get you anywhere. And often times, you don’t even know exactly how to identify when you’re slipping back into bad-habit mode. Here are three common habits to avoid in your relationship:
1. Defensiveness
You go into “defense mode.” You build an emotional fortress around yourself, and pace behind its walls, reinforcing the stories you’ve told yourself about why your upset. You rehash the reasons for your suffering and stew in them. You almost take pleasure in your active effort not to work toward resolving anything.
