the desire to share insight.

not willingly investigating, inquiring into ones experience
is the identification with ones egomind, it's conditioned unconscious
reactive responses towards all that is. the root of it
is an identification with ones unconscious reactive conditioning
with the ego's fear of the being , being the love they are.
within this fear, is pain, suffering, the desire to be
all that the being is not and inevitably eradicate all existence.
 ultimately leading into
the delusion of superiority , through controlling the experience
overall and a focus on the absolute at all times, with the
identification of complacency in accepting ones thoughts and
emotions,ignoring the feelings that point to a deeper
experience, and thus a continued delusion of self sabotage.


what follows the self sabotage, are temper tantrums, hurting another,
flipping out, rebellious , chip on ones shoulder, about being
willing to truly listen to whats being expressed to you, and
through you. a complete and total neglagence towards the love
of the being, a disregard for all life as it is, and a simple
usage of all life for personal gain. in this there is selfish
behavior in every direction. its also called psychic vampirism.
where a being will come to you due to your vibration , and
simultaneously do all that they can to disprove the truth
of whats going on, through their identification with
their ego's unconscious reactive conditioned desire to uphold
its truth to be the truth as it is, and disregard all thats
been shared with the being within. aggitation, irritation,
words that always express the desire to get away from it all
someway somehow.

theres also the dictation of another being oweing you this or
that. always a projected obligation to fulfill, always projected
expectations that the ego has for the self, and all life. always
an attempt to force change , always the dictation to be worshipped,
idolized,followed. now obeying, or even being submissive towards
the laws of creation , is not a bad thing, its actually rather healthy
to be consciously working on yourself, that is, investigating on a daily
consistent basis, what is motivating you to make the decisions you make.
its in this, that youre actually abiding, or obeying, or being "submissive"
to the rules/laws of creation. just the words submissive, to the ego denotes being under
and unworthy to question, and obviously the unwillingness to obey/worth with the laws of creation.
its the opposite to being dominant, or dominating, which is a form of
superiority. but if you look at the definition of
the word submissive, i like to point out where it says " being humbly
obediant." through this humble obediance towards the will of god,
you are able to work with the inevitable on a conscious basis.
this is also called the dropping away of ones own personal will.
just that sentence alone brings up the egos attachments to the wording itself which bring
up fear and pain - egoic resistance towards letting go. " im not going
to be who i am anymore?" in essence, you will gradually continue
disidentification with your ego, and everyone elses ego simultaneously.


from this, you are able to be the love that you are and learn how to
live a truly abundant , prosperous life in the now, and ONLY in the now.
this frightens the ego, 100%. it doesnt want to lose the control that it
never had,the only reason why it appears to a being that they have
control of reality, is due to other beings identifying with the superiority
of their ego and others' ego's as well and thus identifying with the fear of
the being being who they are. it wants to upkeep its closed loop of believing in its own
thoughtforms, in this upkeeping of this is the perpetuation of attachment.
and those who throw fits over it, obviously identify with their
unconscious reactive conditioned ego unconsciously. they also throw fits at you
for pointing this out, and will have no problem making fun of you for
what is known about you, even when its a misunderstanding, it makes
them feel superior, like a villian, and in this they see you as an easy
dominatable, easily submissive target, a victim. with the tables turned youre always
made out to be the bully of it all.when you are
being the love you are, you are in conscious agreement that you work
with what is inevitably going to happen, you are consistently being
humbled, and simply saying yes to what is. the person identifying with
their ego, is in a complete reversal. they see submissive, and go to
the extreme innervision of being walked on like a doormat, or
being put on a literal cross like jesus, or a whole range of other
extremes that always entail them being buried 6 feet under ( we all eventually end up
transitioning or "dying" and this again terrifies the ego completely.)someway
somehow, and again in this, is the ego's fear and the beings
identification with it. so they may tote around talk about how theyre
living a free life and so on, but in reality, theyre doing all that
they can to attain freedom, through all the materials that they can
gather, in this theyre not living an abundantly free and prosperous
life at all, they just identify with their ego's thoughtforms that
if they just attain this specific items, or food, or experience
theyll be set free. now im not saying theres anything wrong with getting
your favorite foods, drinks, cars, so on, im just stating that identifying with
it bringing you lasting happiness, is identification with the ego. yeah itll help
you get from point a all the way to point z, where you go through a true death, but when
you see through the whole fascade, they do bring you happiness, fleetingly so, one example of
this fleeting happiness is when youre driving a car, and youre enjoying it, and then you hit traffic
and the traffic is stop and go for hours, horns honking, its hot, theres nothing good on the radio
youve listened to those cd's,tapes' and mp3's so many times over thaty oure just plain bored with
and eventually you find yourself feeling like youre going insane from boredom. when this pattern
persists without being looked at, a lot of psychological issues arise within, this is still a normal
experience for some humans today. its what can be called collective insanity.

thats not saying that the desire to experience a specific experience
wont set you free, because obviously for every enlightened being
on the planet, and throughout all existence thats known and unknown, there has
been the attainment of true freedom from within. regardless of what the outer and inner
experience entails, and in turn theyve gone to great lengths to do
what must be done to assist in the upliftment of the all. so like i said
in the last message, its absolutely necessary to identify with ones ego
first and foremost, so that when you get struck with the awareness that
inquiring into what you are going through is the best choice you can
make in the here now, you begin the process of awakening, after a while
you become self realized, and upon a consistent basis of inquiring into
what motivates you to make the choices you go through, you continually
process the disorientation of identification with your ego, and the
reorientation with the love you are. now this is a destructive process
and the ego doesnt like it at all, but once you consistently inquire
into what youre going through, you consistently, willingly and unconditionally
learn about the love you are, and how to go about whats best for you.
those beings who do not love you making this geniune choice , identify again
with their egominds reactive condtioned state of awareness. which is ultimately
completely insane. the ego itself is just another word at talking about that
which is inherently insane behavior, being acted out, but theres a difference
when it comes to those who are totally aware of what is and is not insane,
they themselves are sane, and putting in place that which represents complete
insanity. one example is the building of a nuclear facility on fault lines.



now its okay to not know where stars are located, or what species of
plants there are all over the planet, and really not know any bit of
information about your experience at all, but upon the continual
inquiring/acknowledgement into whats going on with you, youll see that you know
what it is that you are going through, and you in essence " link back"
continously, its always starting off as "inquiring into what im going
through" and is a gradual unraveling of understanding exactly
what it is you are going through/experience/see and so on. but again, the ego doesnt like this
at all, and will do all that it can to prevent this from happening,
but alas, inevitably, it cannot stop this process from taking place.
it gets to the point where your ego's fear of you being the love you are
doesnt stand a chance, and you can literally witness it, transform
before your eyes. when it comes to dealing with other beings ego's
just breathing assists in assisting the being in doing their inner work.
simply acknowledging what youre going through, while you breath, is what works best.
acknowledging is an inquiry, and an abiding inquiry is what does the trick.

whether theyre in the same house, block, down the road from you or in
other locations all over the planet, your consciousness is expressed
everywhere, and is used to assist others in their experience as it is
used to assist you in yours. from geniunely inquiring into ones
experience, you also learn that this continual inquiry, brings up
your natural intelligence which naturally inquires, it also brings up what enlightened beings
also speak of when it comes to bringing forth the stillness within,
and also brings up the awareness of what its like to be the prescence
that you are, bringing up the awareness and experience of being
the presence that you are, is another way of saying that it brings
up into experience, the experience of being the intelligence
that YOU are, the natural instinctive inquiry to continually discover
what motivates you. the stillness or emptiness itself, is actually a constantly ,gradually,
fluxuating presence of being, where the experience of nondual,
no attachments, is, youll also notice the natural throwing off
or giving back of not only your egos projections unto you, and everyone
elses as well unto them. the more conscious you are of whats going on
in the here now, the more able you are to be a bridge , or beacon
of light.you work with what you are consciously experiencing in the moment,and are able
to work with what is, as it is, consciously. even when its working with the fact that you feel
the need
to ask questions, or work with the fact that you currently dont
know what to say or what to do , maybe you feel the need to move your leg or whatnot.
youll also notice how funny it is when youve gone through the
ego's terrorizing experience of death and its feelings of permanent memory loss, yet all a while youre
able to know whats actually going on, and the ego itself cant
figure it out at all. what a dreadful experience for the ego
but an ultimately uplifting experience for you.

linking back, or investigating,inquiring into what is motivating
you to make the decisions you are making, benefits everyone.
it assists you in waking up from the dream state or the unconscious state of you and your identification with your
unconscious reactive conditioned ego (fyi though, creation is conscious of the ego and all that it is).
 im not saying that even
after becoming consciously enlightened that you wont have
work to do, im not saying you wont have unconsciousness to deal
with either, because you will, its what is spoken about
in the zen traditions, as always becoming always, and in this
i see a consciously enlightened being consciously working with what they know and what they dont know
and what they dont know, is an awareness that theyre unaware for now, from this acknowledgement
of ones experience of selective awareness, theyre consciously moving through what they know and
simultaneously dont know. this conscious experience
transforms that which is not known into awareness, that awareness is integrated and solidified
into experience, and is what gives one strength, through the knowledge
of ignorance as it is. so when you no longer identify with your ego
you will consciously be working through your unconsciousness
consciously, linking back to what is motivating you to make the choices
you are making.and consciously working with that you feel at heart.

we are living in creation, but through the natural state of nondual,non
attachment, to what is, and consciously working with whats in our hearts,
we are not of that which is not who we are. we simply live with that which is not who and
what we are, and live
with the gradual dismantling of the ego, and the gradual liberation of humanity.
transforming consciousness, through conscious acknowledgement of what it is you
are going through, and a geniune inquiry through the abiding desire to discover
exactly what it is you are going through.

love,
hilarion