Sometimes, in our busy lives and busy schedules - and for women especially - food is the only way we give to ourselves. Often, it is the only way in which we allow ourselves to receive. We give give give and then when we get home, when we feel safe, we use food as a comforter, time-filler, space-filler, and friend. Though we have friends, husbands, and family that may be very willing and honored to give to us, it is often not comfortable because somewhere in the back of our minds we may feel like we'll have to return the 'favor.'
On the other hand, food can be one of the few enjoyments we feel we may have in life that is accessible… something we want and can have immediately. Because, often, we're disappointed by so many things we want - a holiday, that new dress, a loving hug/kiss from partner, etc. - and yet they don't seem to manifest in our lives. Or, if they do, not as often as we'd like - as in, right now when I'm feeling stressed, irritated, and lonely. It is the everyday mundane aspects of life that are annoying, unsatisfying, and even overwhelming. Food is often what takes the edge off. Food, used in such a way, is no different than a glass of wine, a cigarette, or exercise even. It is all in the intention.
What intention do you have when you eat?
I am not one of those who feel that eating should not be enjoyable or delicious. Not at all! But, have you noticed that when we eat while watching tv or doing something else, food doesn't seem to taste anymore - it's practically forgotten. We can't remember enjoying it. We can't remember what we ate three days ago. And, when we overeat, the food doesn't taste good anymore. Our tastebuds have numbed out. It is no longer tasty. It is dense on our palate, heavy in our bodies... but, in a way, we aren't even in our bodies. We've left the premises. We're in a labyrinth of thoughts/emotions/worries/concerns; we're in the news/movie/TV show; we're in the story of the book we may be reading; or somewhere else, anywhere else, but here and now eating this food, savoring it, enjoying it, and feeling it invigorate and nourish our bodies.
Another point is TIME. Often we don't allow ourselves time for anything. Everything is rushed. We walk fast, we talk fast, we move fast, we drink fast, we eat fast, we even sleep fast. Not to mention, we make decisions very quickly. We don't allow ourselves to let the decision sit and settle for a bit… see how it feels. Yes, time seems to be speeding up. Life is speeding up. But, even during the times we don't need to rush at all, we do for some reason. Have you noticed those people who run to catch the train and the train hasn't even pulled in yet? It's almost like an addiction. We can't simply slow down. We have to be there so we don't miss it, whatever it is. Because if I miss it then I'll miss out on something else, then I'll be late for something else… and so on. It's a domino effect.
But, what's the worst that could happen if we run a little late? And why do we put so much into a day anyway? Why is it just me? Who do we think we are that we must take on everything and it must be handled in such a small amount of time? Will the world collapse if we aren't there to carry it? What about all these other people in the world? Couldn't at least one of them help me? Delegation is difficult for a lot of people because it takes trust and letting go of all that control. And not just that. In order to delegate, often we have to teach them how to do it. That takes time doesn't it? But, in the end, we're empowering them and ourselves.
But, how about another set of questions. How will I feel if I don't fill every period of time in my day, week, life? How will I feel if I'm not busy? How do I feel when I don't have something imperative (or not) to do? How would I feel if I had an entire day - or an entire week if you can imagine it - where there was absolutely NOTHING required of me and there was no to-do list? Does it feel liberating? Or does it feel scary? If it feels liberating, try it. And commit to it. See if you can do it. And during that day, eat and see how it goes. Is it enjoyable? Or, is it a filler, a habit?
We rush, we stuff, we overeat, we busy ourselves in order to run away from something (a feeling, decision, desire, situation, making a change) or someone (typically ourselves)…
I feel that by first recognizing what we do and the intentions we have when we eat is an important element in moving through this aspect of our lives and ourselves. You don't have to figure it all out. You don't have to solve the whole issue now. And you certainly don't have to put anymore pressure on yourself to do such things. Simply first recognize and be aware of how you use your time and your intentions in eating in the beginning.
Thank you and blessings with love,
Melanie
But, what's the worst that could happen if we run a little late? And why do we put so much into a day anyway? Why is it just me? Who do we think we are that we must take on everything and it must be handled in such a small amount of time? Will the world collapse if we aren't there to carry it? What about all these other people in the world? Couldn't at least one of them help me? Delegation is difficult for a lot of people because it takes trust and letting go of all that control. And not just that. In order to delegate, often we have to teach them how to do it. That takes time doesn't it? But, in the end, we're empowering them and ourselves.
But, how about another set of questions. How will I feel if I don't fill every period of time in my day, week, life? How will I feel if I'm not busy? How do I feel when I don't have something imperative (or not) to do? How would I feel if I had an entire day - or an entire week if you can imagine it - where there was absolutely NOTHING required of me and there was no to-do list? Does it feel liberating? Or does it feel scary? If it feels liberating, try it. And commit to it. See if you can do it. And during that day, eat and see how it goes. Is it enjoyable? Or, is it a filler, a habit?
We rush, we stuff, we overeat, we busy ourselves in order to run away from something (a feeling, decision, desire, situation, making a change) or someone (typically ourselves)…
I feel that by first recognizing what we do and the intentions we have when we eat is an important element in moving through this aspect of our lives and ourselves. You don't have to figure it all out. You don't have to solve the whole issue now. And you certainly don't have to put anymore pressure on yourself to do such things. Simply first recognize and be aware of how you use your time and your intentions in eating in the beginning.
Thank you and blessings with love,
Melanie
