Sometimes people come back in our lives so that we can set ourselves free and freeing them also.
Recently, someone whom I was not kind to, came back into my energy field. Had'nt seen them bout 3 years. I was feeling very 3d when they did, and my EGO (Tameka was my alter ego whom had NO HEART) was still in my head but not my Heart. Even so, my Higher Self took over and transmuted Tameka into the Light. I thank Spirit for that, truely. No more shadows, dust or whatever you wanna label it.
KNOWING its so easy to control this person with sex, instead compassion for them kicked in. I no longer wanted to control them. I no longer wanted to manipulate them. None of that. I only want to Love them unconditionally. I WAS IN MY HEART and not my head bout 10 minutes into our conversation. I only saw Light (very sweet, nonjudgemental being) with the energy exchange. I only wanted to reverse our "sick", twisted relationship to unconditional Love, transforming a negative to a very positive. But, I was reluctant to apologize or acknowledge this fact of my Heart. I guess it was fear.
This morning, I apologized to them for using sex in the past to control them. I layed it all on the line and it was more wonderful than I imagined to do so. Smile.
Allowing me to apologize without saying anything, just listening and analyzing the information, really made my Heart flutter. I exlained that I AM not ready for sex yet, but, I want to continue our friendship, this time, I will participate in it, by being a TRUE FRIEND not a lover. They wanted to do other things beside sex, but, thats all I wanted in the past, because I know it was his weakness, and it got me anything he had. Tameka had no Heart. His only response was "okay."
Now, I AM free and so is he. Our friendship can now grow into a beautiful relationship between a woman and a man built on unconditonal Love, honesty, trust and all the things that make a friendship REAL. I told him that I hope someone comes along and reconizes his Light. He deserves to be happy, that's what I believe.
So, growing up does have its advantages. Being responsible for my past and my future is one sure sign of growing up.
When he asks me what the hell happened and changed me, (I feel that he will very soon), I AM going to tell him about this wonderful place here that I consider HOME.
Yes, it is a myth that there are no more good men. You just have to be able to SEE THEM for more than an opportunity to control, manipulate and play head games with. Just as I told him, that's not fair to anyone, especially to me. That's not who I really am. Not by a long shot.
Thank you Tameka for being there for me when I assumed you would lead me to happiness thru sexual manipulation. I was taught that at an very early age.
Thanks for letting me be honest with myself first and formost. Its getting better by the second. Honesty is becoming the only policy for me. Now, THAT is how I can set the captives free, and free myself too, being honest with myself.
Love I AM NaGeeTa
