Our Shared Awakening
Calling Out to the Universe ~ By Dennis Robertson
Photo by Earth Allie Will Harader
March 21, 2012
As I sit here with tears flowing, and feeling a great agony with the state of the world and the mad march of humanity, it feels like my great awakening has reached an apex, a turning point … for the fourth time, or fifth time … I guess I’ve lost count now.
I’ve been working non-stop for quite awhile just to maintain survival, and I just had to take a break tonight, relax the mind, give it a break, and watch a movie. It doesn’t matter which o
ne it was … one of those that has the ability to help profoundly awaken those that are receptive.
At the end, engulfed in deep emotion, I closed my eyes, and in my mind and heart screamed out into the universe, partly out of outrage with the insanity of our species, partly out of a sense of frustration of being only one person, wanting so very badly, agonizingly so, to stop the great march of madness towards a slow death and destruction, not knowing how to really help, and partly calling out to others that are awake and that ache as badly as I do to want to transform this planet and species into something incredible, that would transform every being and every life on this beautiful planet.
On one hand, I feel a positive change is inevitable … growth and evolution … but the pain and suffering that is upon us, and has been for a very long time, is very difficult to swallow sometimes and just watch it happen. And it also seems quite possible that this life, that is the human species, that has come a long way, over a relatively short period of time,is not guaranteed life by the universe, as best that I can reason. It seems that it is in our hands … whether we transform ourselves into a species that truly cares for all of its kind, that respects every member, that truly honors and respects the phenomenal gift of life, consciousness and awareness that has been granted to us … whether we transform ourselves into a species that demonstrates a genuine respect and gratitude for that, by honoring all life around us … or whether we are so callous with life and the planet that it all deteriorates before our eyes,remaining too caught up in our own self-serving focus to barely notice, until it’s too late. I’m not sure if it’s already too late.
But I, for one, here today, commit the rest of my life to doing whatever I can to help our species change and become much more of an honorable and caring species, working together to improve everyone’s life, not just my own, or those nearby. I do this, for one, because I must, in order to be authentic with what my soul is telling me, and because I believe change must occur if we are to survive, let alone thrive (and I am not referring to that illusion that is monetary wealth). I cannot go on pretending that as long as I am personally comfortable and doing well, that the world is a good and honorable place. If others are being denied the opportunity to live and live well, then our kind is not good, not honorable.
If I must sacrifice a good and comfortable life, in order to help change the world, then so be it, so that those that come after may have the opportunity to live in a very different place. And if necessary, I am genuinely willing to set aside my personal survival, if it will have a positive and significant effect on helping others, and helping to permanently change humanity. (It’s not something I would do lightly, and there is certainly a fine line with staying well and alive in order to contribute more to what needs to be done.)
Even today, I struggle to have the means for basic survival, and have been spending all my time in that effort. Undoubtedly, I could have gone about some things in better ways, to have savings to rely on, or to get a little more in return for the time I spend. I will do what I can to maintain basic survival, and hopefully get ahead a little to free up some time to begin my part in the work that is needed among us.
I don’t know that I can pursue this course alone, nor do I want to. I have found it very difficult to be awakening to the reality of society and the world, while those around me are not. I need support, and I very much want to offer support to others. It’s hard for me to see how true change could come by working for change in isolation. The more we come together, and speak boldly, and with conviction and caring, I believe the more likely we will help bring about transformation.
I know I am in no way the first to arrive at this place. I know there are many that are already doing everything they can in this effort. I do know of many different groups that have come together to do what they can. I am grateful and appreciative to all who are truly setting aside a focus on personal gain and well-being, in order to help all. It is admirable, and courageous. I will need to find some time to consider how to wire myself into the cause. I do have some ideas of my own that seem to be clamoring for life.
At the same time, I’m also trying to accept the present as it is, without “needing” to change it, or have it be otherwise. I still experience this as contradictory to a degree, but I believe both perspectives are real,and right for me. I just need a bit more time I guess to have them be reconciled in the mind.
(The following may stir very strong feelings with those that have been in war and hostile environments. I do not pretend to know what war is truly like first-hand. The perspective I express below is only one of many possible perspectives. I’m not suggesting it is the only one that is right or accurate, but it is one, among others, that is part of reality.)
One of the most significant events that transformed me was hearing the story of 15 year-old Gul Mudin. When I was that age, I really looked up to “older” guys (a few years older than me) and for whatever reason, something inside me sought connection and bonding with them. I know it’s projecting who I am, or was, into a different situation, but I imagined myself in Gul Mudin’s place.
I imagine that I would have been eager to be friends with the soldiers, wanting to connect with them in some way, and show them respect as someone younger, and hopefully get back from them some sort of positive acknowledgment and acceptance, and reassurance of my connection with the world and my fellow beings. At least when I was that age, that sort of thing from peers, and other guys a little older, meant a lot to me.
The photos I saw related to the actual experience of Gul Mudin have been burned into me. My soul churns terribly as I recall them. I do not think I will ever forget them, nor ever be the same.
Every one of us, that has genuine humanity inside us, must acknowledge that a world in which that happens, as it did, is terribly dysfunctional, unsustainable, and a world that will tear our souls and species apart like a deranged animal.
This becomes even more disturbing and alarming, knowing that this has not happened in isolation. How much longer are we going to continue marching down this road of madness?
I could say more about how I am partly responsible for what happened (even without having any direct connection with the military or any companies associated with the hostility). When I really connect with the true reality of being partly responsible, it is very troubling to me. I have tried to purge my soul in private. Maybe I’ll say more publicly, another time. Now I will just say that I’m sorry. I’m very sorry.
So once again, with all the depth of my soul, I call out to the universe, and announce my commitment to help humanity change. I call out in search of support, and to offer support, and for possible collaboration in working for the long-needed transformation.
Dennis Robertson
