I have never felt so much love and support in my life as i have this weekend
I am still releasing so much emotional energy, it is overwhelming
For the first time in years... i spent the entire weekend totally disconnected from making money. this is nearly impossible for me considering it is so close to the first of the month and i am still a month behind in rent as it is... but for some reason... i know it will all be OK.
I have spent all of my time sleeping, and eating healthy foods.
My dreams have been intense.
One year ago I did not even remember my dreams.
I have been dreaming of three different scenarios.
One of a man I have yet to meet in this life, but I am aware he is from my past.
In this dream, we are reunited and the love is so intense... I have this feeling of being reunited and this missing piece is put back into place after centuries of being disconnected.
The second half of my dream shows me meeting yet another man, who I am aware of but have not met in this life either... he also is from my past, and he is there to witness my reunion with guy #1. He expresses happiness for this reunion as he sees my heart and its contentment, yet I feel this sadness within him, as though it was MY heart he was truly seeking, but this man is different... he is not one to open his mouth... he is not the obvious choice for me... yet something tells me he is the RIGHT one.
The last dream is of the most recent relationship I had that ended in 2010. This relationship was very unhealthy, and ended in physical violence. It was devastating for me, as I have had many a disfunctional relationship, but no person had ever laid their hands on me. This was the ultimate violation to me, yet I found myself missing this person so much when I woke up.
I am not certain what this all means, but it is clear to me that I have some type of choice coming up.
I am on day three of no medication, and its a bit scary... but I am filled with excitement and anticipation. This was the only thing that had been holding me back.
What wonders will await me with this block eliminated?
Will my energy begin to flow again?
Will my heart begin to OVERFLOW?
I am so excited.
To know that I even have a choice feels unimaginable.
I was ready to shave my head and join the monks in tibet... I had assumed that my heart was closed for good.
But alas... I feel I have a future... an amazingly exciting limitless future.
I don't know what it holds.. but I am excited.
I love you all and thank you for holding my heart in your hands
Mama's gonna get through this...
xoxox
p.s. i cant figure out how to embed this video which andrea and tao will laugh at... but this is how I am feeling now
xoxo
Comments
the music was so beautiful,
the music was so beautiful, thank You!
Remember what it was like flying? That if you had any thought of what was behind you, you would start to fall? fly, again into the openness of wonder and promise.... ahead without a reflection of what has past!
Practicality: What ever you were taking, go to a realiable health food store and ask them for the best quality supplement to take its place. Then it won't be so drastic a change for your love-r-ly body!
awww thanks
thank you angel
yes i do remember indeed
that is a good idea... i will look into that
so very much love indeed
xoxo
stasha