title: *

notice how you are feeling. notice where your attention goes, breathe all
of your experience in, keep going. continue noticing where your attention
goes. notice that which motivates your desires to act upon certain motivations
via your current awareness. self inquiry forever.
again notice into whats motivating your choices. notice how you feel when
an experience doesnt go the way your ego desires it to go. notice how you feel
when your ego is being gradually dismantled before your eyes. notice how at
one point you used to identify with certain thoughts about certain behaviors,
and now you no longer identify with acting upon them, because that part of
your ego, you no longer identify with,notice how you feel now and notice
how its similiar, yet not the same as to how you once felt before, and how that
you will feel in the future is also similiar, but again not the same as how you
feel right now.notice as to how much of
your ego you still identify with in a similiar manner as you once did with
the previous motivations via being present within your current experience.

notice how you feel while you are sitting there, feeling your feelings
about your experience, this experience of feeling your feelings, about
your experience, is self inquiry.notice how you feel when you are listening
to your music of choice, whether its the music of all that is, or the music
of that which is being played through the earbuds/headphones being on your head
/in your ears with your current artist of choice.
notice how the lyrics or no lyrics/the sound,the beats,the patterns, the rhythm(s)
makes you feel.notice how you can feel what you hear, and you can see that you
feel what you hear, thoughts/feeling/emotions included, and the space that is your
similiarly uniquely equal and pure awareness
where thoughts/feelings/emotions/awareness of your awareness itself
comes and is let go of so that the experience may continually expand/grow/and in turn
be integrated and thus be an experience of conscious learning.notice how you feel about
inner visions,notice how you feel about others overall experierences,
notice how it feels to slowlyor fastly move your being in water, or to pet
an animal, pickup and hold a child, eat food, drink liquids, read this and notice
the internal dialogue, to cuddle up with a blanket, to kneel, crouch,bend,kick,lean...


notice how your awareness shifts. notice how uncontrollably selective it is.
notice where its directed to. breathe all of your experience in. self inquiry
is also self exploration. the unconditional willingness to learn is the one
requirement to living the enlightened life. i wouldnt worry about eating
fast food and or eating all natural organic foods. drinking water with flouride
in it or well water, through a purification system. smoking tobacco or not
smoking tobacco, alcohol, weed or neither of them,fasting ,sitting,not showering
or even being present, feeding or not feeding thoughts,living the enlightened
life or breathing correctly, going unconscious and then becoming conscious
after youve gone unconscious, or consciously moving through unconsciousness,
or listening to music that others prefer not to "listen to" themselves, or with
eating too much or not enough, or brushing your teeth too much or not enough
or really any part of the experience too much , or not enough, or striving
to attain your goals and such, when youre going through self inquiry on a
consistent , abiding basis, you arent motivated to have those kind of
experiences where you brush your teeth so much you get a disease, or you eat
fast food and die from it, just realize that even if you eat fast food or
all organic whole foods all the time, if youre going to die , eating healthy
food all the time, and living a very healthy lifestyle wont keep you from death.
you will still die LOL and in the long run, everyone will die, just not EVERYONE
all at the same time. i will go as far as saying dont even be worried about being
concerned or not being concerned. to even upholding the truth of the experience
and so on, and so on, and so on.


you will have to go through your experience to find out exactly whats being
said to you, to integrate the truth of the experience itself as it is. you will
in essence. completely unlearn whats been shared with you, so that you yourself
can have a complete integrated understanding of whats being shared with you about
the process of becoming self realized, and the experience after self realization.
IF, is a gift from god. when you identify with your ego's fear of death and dying
you wont be living in the present moment. when you enjoy,love, are exhilirated
by that which brings up fear and pain as it is, in an ethical fashion - youre
good to go, both in the reverse and the forward fashion. like getting your
wisdom teeth taken out because theyre impacting your teeth and or before that happens
or getting a tooth filled in because of a forming cavity and so on, just simple
everyday "average guy/gal" experiences that help you in living a joyful life on a conscious
level as to why it is you are making the choices that you are making, whats the
motivator, behind the forward actions. again self inquiry, and consistently doing
it on a daily basis the moment you arise from the dream state. this helps with
the continual non identification or conscious dismantling your ego, which in turn assists you in
reidentification
with your soul. identification with the ego, is an absolute necessity in the long run
when it comes to living the enlightened life, without it, there wouldnt be the conscious
experience of non identification with the ego,your ego, other's ego's, if there wasnt in the first
place an identification with ego. when youre willing to go there, and willin to receive
unconditionally,
that experience through your body, for the sake of learning, you learn a great deal
about yourself, you learn how to truly love and live life. you learn about the
beauty that is life, from the identification with that which is pointed at, as being
ugly. you see the monster thats lurking inside yourself, and others, and you also
see how understanding others are of this/their/others "monster" are, and how understanding others are
of what it is they know about the ego, and how non understanding and aggrevated others
get by the mere talk about the ego, and enlightenment itself. the monster i refer to
is what carl jung refers to as the shadow self. its an allie, not an enemy, even though
the ego, will perceive it to be an enemy, even whilst simultaneously from your perspective
its an allie....


geniune self inquiry, geniunely inquiring into ones experience, into what is
motivating you to make the choices you make, geniunely inquiring into that which
motivates you to make the choices you make, on a consistent, daily basis, is healthy
and a part of living the enlightened /liberated life.

in love with myself, and you,
hilarion