By: D. Tamick
When I was doing my meditation this morning, I had an interesting idea present itself to me. Lately I’ve had to uninstall several programs on my computer that I no longer need and that were slowing things down. I had the thought that the programs I’ve created to run my life are in that same category – no longer needed and slowing things down. Why don’t I uninstall some of them? So I started. I pictured my computer screen and clicked on the proper boxes. I was amazed at how easy it was (most of the time). As soon as I uninstalled one, another would pop up.
I realized in doing this that these programs are not in fact truth or reality but illusion and, as if I was a small child, I was simply pretending that they’re true so that I can have an adventure. When I was 8 or 10 years old I was not really a pirate or cowboy or Indian but it sure was fun pretending I was. Of course after the game was over, I became a little boy again and had my dinner.
The first one that came up was when I was bemoaning my physical limitations as I do quite a lot. My whole life I’ve hated the limitations that physicality presents. So I brought up the program of “pretending that I live in a state of extreme limitation.”
I clicked the button to start the uninstall; then watched the little graph that showed the progress. When it reached the end, I hit the “done” button. I thanked the program for all the lessons it afforded me and said goodbye to it. Then for good measure, I said I forgive myself for creating this program that caused me to think that I was separate from God. The forgiveness was not a judgment of goodness or badness but simply an acknowledgment of the reality of what I had created and was now uncreating.
Immediately the next program popped up. It was “pretending to be heavy and solid”. This is another program I created but never liked. After I completed the process with this one I felt much lighter. A future uninstall I plan to do is one called “pretending that I can’t fly.”
Then I went on to number 3 and continued on down the list.
3. Pretending that I’m afraid to let go of what is familiar. (This one brought up some fear. My ego tried to tell me that I would be lost if nothing around me was familiar to me. I decided to take the chance.)
4. Pretending that I need to ask “others” for information or to satisfy needs that in truth I can satisfy for myself. (After all I have the same access to the same knowledge that anyone else does.)
5. Pretending to not know who I really am. (I’ve lately had a feeling of desperation about finding out who I really am. I’ve felt I couldn’t do my job here or know where to go next without knowing who I really am. I’ve cried and pleaded (whined) with my guides to tell me who I am to no avail. I finally got it that they’re not going to tell me and that I must do it for myself. That’s part of my journey.)
6. Pretending to still be in 3rd density when I know without a doubt that I am 99% in 5th and am just interacting with the 3rd to complete my mission here. (So why pretend otherwise.)
7. Pretending that I have power over others by being able to do things they can’t do (even in my imagination. This is a big one but took some time to come up due to the subtlety of it. I was thinking that I wanted to be ascended right now. On the one han,d there is only now so that is a truth. However, on further thought, I discovered that I want to be ascended before lots of other people are so I can do things like fly and disappear, etc. that they can’t do. I realized this has to do with my need to feel superior to others for my own protection so they have no power over me and I’ll be safe from them. My ego fought this uninstall to its last dying gasp.)
8. Pretending that I’m separate from God (I struggled to complete this one. I went through the whole William Tell Overture with the storm at sea and thunder and lightening and wind howling and trees blowing over. I let it all play out until finally the dawn broke and the sun rose and the birds began to sing. I started laughing and crying with relief and joy knowing that I don’t have to pretend I’m separate anymore and that God isn’t really mad at me for pretending to be separate from him/her.)
While doing this process I discovered which ones I really didn’t want to let go of. A couple of them I actually felt a bit nauseous and some fear in the pit of my stomach. Some were easy; some not so easy.
After the uninstall meter reached the finished mark on the last one I punched the “done” key. Then I said thank you for all the programs because of all that I had learned from them and said a final goodbye to them all. Then for added measure I forgave myself for pretending to still need them.
I feel so free and joyful. Why didn’t I do this sooner? Maybe I did and I’m just pretending I didn’t. T’is a tricky world we live in. Or maybe I’m just pretending it is.