Ever since I made the decision to move from Amsterdam to Glastonbury in England, things have been developing that could easily persuade me to give up on this dream. Glastonbury is also known as Avalon and they say that Avalon is like a mirror which reflects the deepest layers of our being. Well, that mirror is working already and I have not even moved yet. But I am determined to go and leave behind my old life and embrace a new and more natural way of living.

I had made my decision one evening in February, when I realised that although I had been putting a lot of work and effort in making things happen workwise and in other areas of my life, I was not really moving forward. I suddenly felt stuck and paused to look at this situation to figure out why. I immediately felt the answer coming: I did not want to be where I was, living in my small apartment on the second story in Amsterdam, closed of from the energy of nature. I needed to feel alive again – not locked up in a place where I did not feel enough room to be who I wanted to be, to interact with like minded people and to live unconditionally from the heart. It just was not happening even though I really tried to go for it, but instead it felt like I could not kep up with the fast pace of society and that I was living in a survival mode. This was not how I wanted to live my life and life simply is too short to not be able to live it fully. I was 48 years old and it was high time to get out of the rat race, we call society.

Modern day society

Why had I not made a better life for myself before? Well, it is the same old story that most people go through: you go to school, you get a career, you get married and have children, you get divorced and before you know it you are in the cycle of trying to live by the norms and values of modern day society. Paying off your mortgage or rent, buying all the things you do not really need, spending your evenings on the couch in front of the television and waking up every morning thinking of all the chores you need to be doing. Life passes you by and you suddenly ask yourself: is this it? Not that I had a bad life, luckily I have been able to do things I like doing, like travelling and spiritually developing myself, but there was always this sort of cage that I felt around me, not giving me enough room to really be me. I am not complaining: I am healthy, I have two great children, I have lovely friends and family and my work as a writer for a good news magazine is nice. But what I was really longing for, was that feeling of freedom to live more day by day and to feel the magic of life.

Avalon

There was only one place I could think of where I had that experience of feeling the magic of life: Avalon. Maybe I am a dreamer or maybe I believe in fairy tales, but this really is the place for me where I have felt alive and where my soul is nourished with the loving energy of the area. For me Avalon is not a myth, it is my home. I had been coming there for more than ten years and never grew tired of the place. It lifts my spirits and recharges my batteries every time I am there. I love to bring people there and see the effects of the energy on their lives: Avalon makes them feel accepted and loved. They do not have to pretend and hide parts of their personality and spirit, as they usually have to do when going through their daily routines. I have seen women finally accepting how beautiful they really are and realizing that they matter. In the end it is all about accepting who we are and live your life the way you want to.

I am going to do just that but it seems I have to finish some old issues first before heading off. Now that the doors of the cage are opening, those issues are coming up to finally be dealt with. My own fears of failing, of not being enough, of coping financially and of being afraid to receive love. I am a very independant woman but I need help to be able to make this move happen and so I must be open to asking for help and receiving it. I do feel stronger and I know I can face whatever is being thrown at me. Situations are indeed occurring to deal with, but it is the way of the universe of working with me and support me. It seems I need to throw out anything that is not right for me anymore and especially now I am being tested at my current job. The energies are already working to get me out of there. Not in a nice way but then I know I have been living an illusion with this particular job where money is the main motive for the people around me to work for. It is certainly not about respect and compassion and working from the heart, which is what I really want for myself. There is no way back: I am heading there now and it feels very good indeed. Life is too short to not live it fully.

Liberation

I am giving away or selling most of my stuff and it feels liberating. Looking at what I have accumulated in all these years, it really is shocking – I do not really need all of it – most of it is just standing there gathering dust. How do we fool ourselves in thinking we need all these things and to keep buying them: it is just an escape thing to not have to deal with the essential things of what life really is about. When you think about it, we simply need love, laughter and a purpose in life. We need space and time to use our creativity the best possible way we can in order to bring renewal and to feel more satisfaction in our day to day life. And that is just what I am intending to do – as of mid July I will be in Avalon to embrace my new life and if you happen to be in the area – come look me up and we will talk about the good things in life.

Blessings!

www.spiritofmaat.com link to original article /www.manontromp.com