Steve Beckow: From Conflict to Peace

Lia's picture

 

Shocked and soberedI’ve had a life-altering experience in the past twelve hours that I don’t know how to describe.

It has components to it which, while passing through the experience, felt like coming unglued, dissolving some important part of my persona, being seethed, (1) encountering kryptonite, being lashed to the mast or walking through the valley of the shadow of death.

Those are the only words I’ve been able to find that describe it, match the experience, or connect with it in some important way.

It’s happened twice before and I’ve called it a “stress attack.” I’m not aware of how to describe the subtle feeling that comes over me but it feels to me as if I’m falling apart and I haven’t in the past been able to navigate through it without being “talked down,” so to speak. But this time I got through it on my own, even though it felt like I would not survive.

I cannot describe the feelings. They are flavorless and colorless. I cannot describe what happens, save to say that I feel like I’m falling apart, coming unstuck.

I can say that I recognize the sobered look on Glenn Beck’s face in this video.  I have this nagging thought that whatever he went through is similar to what I also just went through. It’s a human experience, not an experience that just some people go through. It involves seeing something that is basically out or wrong and departing from it.

It’s a show stopper – no, a life stopper.  At worst a person can jump off the nearest bridge in the face of it. At best, one can stop going in a forward direction in some vital, life-altering area of life and go another way.  I think that’s what’s happened to Glenn. I recognize the look on his face – a sobered, life-altered look.

I almost think that, without going through this experience that I’m referring to, one does not change direction in that life-altering circumstance or life-altering way. I can tell you what the vital, life-altering direction was for me, but it may be different for you. It’s the altering of life that’s important, not the specific direction one alters life in or the way one accomplishes it.

When I say what I’m about to say next, I’m not sure I’m saying “why” I felt the way I did.  I cannot even say how it was that I felt. It was like anti-matter to me, nothing that I can wrap words around, a yawning chasm rather than an adversary or a condition. A gaping valley in my life opened up and I somehow walked through it and survived. That’s all I can say.

I know the direction I stopped going in. Let me call it “conflict and retribution.” Conflict and retribution is a direction our society is or has been going in. It’s a condition that has been carefully cultivated by the press, entertainment industry, religious institutions, advertisers, everyone who has led social opinion up to now.

Our social way of being up till now either sees us promote conflict and seek retribution or else not lead in the ways of peace and forgiveness. We’re either promoting the one or else at least allowing the one to continue by not going another way.

The direction I’m now going in, having come unstuck and allowing the experience to be, let me call peace and forgiveness. I’ve crossed an invisible Rubicon. I’ve made an abrupt right turn in my life. I’m frankly glad and consider myself lucky to have simply survived the experience and not to have thrown myself off the nearest bridge. Scream

In the first circumstance, we add to the world’s conflict and seeking of retribution. In the second circumstance, we don’t stop others from adding to it even if we don’t add to it ourselves.

Either way we don’t contribute to the world’s peace and forgiveness. The Middle East is the epitome of this way of being.

I saw very clearly that, if there was to be peace and forgiveness in the world, in my world, it would have to come about because each person, in his or her own life, not only chose to have peace and forgiveness but actually, positively, actively went first in initiating peaceful and forgiving action. And not just once, but time after time, day after day.

Without people going first along the road to peace and forgiveness, the world itself, which was caught in this inertial flow towards conflict and retribution, would not see peace and forgiveness arise.

There can be no peace in a person’s world for one who actually, positively acts to promote conflict and retribution. Whether or not peace reigns in the world itself, it will not reign in that person’s world. And, if it does not reign for that person, that person will not see it reigning in the world at large. In their world, there will be only conflict and retribution – actual and seen.

Yesterday, in the grip of this experience of coming unglued as a personality, I saw that I had to step away from conflict and retribution and actually, positively, actively choose peace and forgiveness. There was no escaping the need to make that choice.

I had to step off what was for me a social carousel. I had to turn around and essentially swim upstream. I had to leave the social current of conflict and retribution that we all seem to be immersed in, whether we know it or not, and stop allowing it to at least carry me downstream.

I had to wake up from the nightmare, as John Enright might have said. (2) The real nightmare in my society – in our shared society – is the social current that carries us in this direction.

Being on the other side of making the life-altering decision to “go first,” to “lead the way” in the path of peace and forgiveness, I immediately saw steps to take. Refraining from judgment, refusing to swim with the current, and actively, awkwardly taking steps towards peace were the first steps I saw as I strike out in what is for me a new direction. That may sound so obvious as to not need me to say it but it doesn’t show up as at all obvious or easy to me.

I may look like a sleep-walker to one who is swimming with that current, as Glenn Beck does. Only I will know that my somnolent-seeming behavior is the epitome of awakeness. To all the rest I may seem like a dreamer.

As I visualize myself putting one foot down ahead of the other and taking a step in the direction of peace and forgiveness, I feel the imagined current of the social climate of conflict and retribution engulf and resist me. I feel myself bucking that current. I feel all manner of criticism coming at me – accusations that I’m somehow naive, a “New Ager,” a flower child, an unrealistic dreamer.

And the willingness to appear that way and keep going in the same direction even though I see myself as vastly out of step with what I consider to be my society is the look I imagine I see on Glenn Beck’s face. I cannot imagine a circumstance before now in which I would have said that Glenn Beck and I share a common experience.

I feel embarrassed saying what I’m saying and I probably will choose to spend the rest of this day away from people and just firm up my resolve to keep walking in this direction before re-entering the social stream.

If I don’t withdraw and stay away for the nonce, this insight that I’ve arrived at by walking through the valley of the shadow of death, by coming unglued and just being with it rather than dismissing it and “getting it together” or else throwing myself off the nearest bridge, will be lost. I’ll sweep myself away in feelings of being socially awkward and out of step, of being too fearful and socially tied in to sustain my resolve and maintain my direction.

I hope I have the wherewithal to post this because it represents to me the equivalent of saying I will no longer follow what I perceive as a socially-sanctioned direction in life: that of actively promoting and contributing to conflict and retribution.

Footnotes

(1) Boiled in milk.

(2) John Enright, Enlightening Gestalt: Waking Up from the Nightmare. Mill Valley: Pro Telos, 1980.

Source: http://goldenageofgaia.com/2013/06/from-conflict-to-peace/#more-181121

Comments

Us too

Clarissalynn's picture

Just last night while watching the "new" Paul McCartney video, my husband came into the bedroom where I was and told me that he is done fighting, and realizes that coming here to Earth to experience what negative that he's experienced was why he came and that ending his life is no longer an option as he now sees that the lessons he is learning, like ridding himself of conflict, and anger, is one of the things that he came to learn.  Something must have opened up these past few days cuz you, Glenn Beck and my husband among others that I don't know at all, are ripping the veil away.. We are on our way "up" seeing the illusion for what it really is.  :-) C

 

Me too

JohnJohn's picture

Thank god i am not alone. Love and light John

J.J

Good for You Steve!

drmoe's picture

Very honest and from the heart. A truly self-shattering experience you've described. I've had a few of these myself and saw the fleeting image of "this feels so bad perhaps I should end it all" go fluttering by. It's a death you are describing, a veritable death of the Ego, that part of us that helped us survive our early years and whatever crushing shame or abuse we had to endure. I too am giving up the fight, the anger, the seeking of revenge. Oh those fantasies don't just walk away. But I can look at them, acknowledge them, own them and forgive myself for them while affirming that I will in no way act on them.  That's part of this ascension process we're going through and this deep inner cleansing that is utterly tormenting at times. I wish you well. You are very brave to share this deepest part of you.  It inspired me to reply and add my two cents on this very difficult experience. Like many of us, I would rather have read the book, but change demands first hand experience and oh how that sucks! You will have helped a lot of us with this share. Good on You!

Steve Beckow: Conflict To Peace

Ra-Raela's picture

The dissolving of the Ego. The caterpillar turning to mush, to become the butterfly. The confrontation of the Self and the "Watcher At The Threshold", those things come to mind, after reading your account. Congratulations! You are waking up, to become who you really are! You are one of the forerunners, shedding the skin of illusion, and showing the way. Thank you for sharing!

I too admit

David Porter's picture

I have recently crossed this bridge more than once wondering if I wanted to make it to the other side?? But as said in Will Smith's latest, "danger is real, but fear is just an emotion. Emotions in themselves are harmless. 

What a powerful example this is of you Steve to reveal something that lies dormant in us all, consciously aware or not.

The Light is certainly motivating us forward with our true natures as in SNOWDEN, what a brave example of heroism. 

If we could only know what the channels say will actually materialize "SOON" in our vernacular, we could be more mentally and emotionally prepared to get on to the, let's say finals.

 

David Porter

Author of the series

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE