By Caroline Aguiar
As I continued to communicate with my Feminine Soul Self, I learned more, and as a result, I think I can honestly say, I grew. There were many bumpy days, and dark nights as I learned to trust myself again. The hardest part in all of this was learning to surrender my resistance to what was unfolding right before my eyes; My awakening.
There were many nights I received major energy downloads. At times it was so strong, my upper torso would rise off the bed, while at the same time my entire body tingled from head to toe. I had the distinct sensation of floating, as love flowed within, and around my body. On these occasions, I didn’t sleep much at night, but instead of waking up and feeling rotten all day from lack of sleep, I marveled at how good I felt even though my physical body was notably tired. Soon, I looked forward to these energy downloads, and night-time discussions with my Feminine Soul Self.
Weeks passed by, and I began to notice certain physical changes which pertained to my sensory abilities which somehow had increased as well. Loud noises such as blaring TV sets, white noise, or static from a radio, or raised voices actually hurt my ears. My skin feels softer too. This is hard to explain, but it may not be my skin, but perhaps my sense of touch has heightened. I’ve received many complements about how good I look these days. My skin looks clear, and bright. I’m loosing some weight too.
The most prominent change I’ve noticed is my inability to see anything of a violent nature. This is the main reason I don’t watch TV anymore. Local news reports, movies, even when reading some books, if there is violence or any kind of bloodshed my insides clench tight, and I begin to feel nauseating fear. On many occasions I’ve had to leave the room, or avert my eyes from the television until the violent scene is over.
Our experiences are meant for us to learn from, and to grow. Often they come in gentle nudges which move us along our life path one step at a time. At other times, it seems as if we’re suddenly swept up within the eye of the tornado, as we find ourselves hurled forward, and straight into the unknown.
Once the tornado spits us out, and we land in what appears to us as the wrong place, we often panic. We may even scream up at the heavens, “Why me? What did I do wrong?” It’s at this moment when we lose site of what it is we are asked to look at which will enable us to continue our learning and growth, even when we think we’re stuck.
Last March, I opened the door way to the spirit world too soon in regards to where I was at on my spiritual path. As a result, I had no choice but to learn fast. The reason being, my sanity was at stake. My entire being slipped into survival mode, and that was all I could see at that time.
I learned the hard way, and I’m still learning, but when I look back on everything, although I was scared most of the time, I now understand why the door opened, why me, and no, I didn’t do anything wrong. Fear is still with me on occasion, but I’m learning to understand where it comes from, and why. In a sense this is part of the process in understanding myself.
For a long time, I considered myself a failure. I soon discovered I wasnt a failure because I learned from the experience, as we all are meant to learn from our experiences, and to grow. It’s this understanding, and growth which propels us along our spiritual paths, as we move forward, at our personal pace which is right for our particular path. There is no right, or wrong.
Right alongside learning and growth, comes spiritual maturity in the acceptance of our responsibility for what we have learned, and how we will apply this to our everyday lives, in service not only to ourselves, but in service to others, and to Gaia as well.
Synchronicity is ever-present in our lives as it was in mine when I met my wonderful teacher, Dr. Janice B who helped me understand the new world I suddenly found myself a part of. Slowly, through much trial and error, I began to learn how to move between the unseen world, and the world of the living. This is when I started my life review, as sometimes I’d awaken in the early morning hours when I’d remember an event from my childhood, and remarkably, with the help from my Feminine Soul Self, I connected the significance of that memory to a circumstance in my present life situation.
I marveled at the sudden “aha” moments, I experienced during these life reviews especially when true realization, and complete understanding came forth as the memories flooded back into my consciousness, many of which I haven’t thought of in years, and some, I had forgotten entirely. Suddenly the lost pieces of the dusty, old jigsaw puzzle magically fitted into place, and it became shiny, and new once again.
A major part of these memories I’m referring too were of psychic experiences I had as a child which scarred me terribly. At that time, due to my young age, I didn’t understand them. My overactive imagination didn’t help either. In order to shut out the beauty of what was occurring, my mind/imagination immediately sent me into fear mode, thus widening the gap, from the truth of who I was, and as I grew older the gap widened even further.
To be continued in Part 3
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