Yesterday, in meditation, being, embracing and loving all that is I needed to include my rapist and all sorts of energies in the world that are not love. I felt the need to go beyond this cycle of butcher and victim. At first, I shared with my lover. I needed to share with her to see that 6 years of child abuse, I experienced when I was younger, was also ME. That All horrors I lived as a victim I was my own butcher. I only dealt with my victim part and forgave my butcher. And there was something incomplete about it. I never pardoned, forgave, thanked and loved myself for being the co-creator of the whole dynamics. I needed to become all that is to permit and include these things and I did. I found what oness is about and I am calibrating.
This night, unable to sleep, I spend doing hooponopono with all significant role-players in my life since birth. I was breathing and being in my heart and could only go to the next role-player till healing was done. It was only complete when I totally became the player and then accepting, loving, thanking, pardoning and forgiving the player. I felt love growing and growing with the hours that passed. I have not slept and I am feeling awake and alert. I am in tears of gratitude writing this.
