33Nicolas's blog

Releasing an Unfulfilled Past

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Grieving is a strange thing. Perhaps we have been taught to wipe our tears and move on from an early age. Or maybe that it is not that important. It could also be that we have very well-meaning people in our lives telling us to only focus on the positives and turn away from the negative. But without acknowledging the negative and drawing lessons from it, we risk not understanding teachable moments.

I am walking away from a strange 13 years of trying hard to break through journalism. I am not the greatest writer nor have I been taught to write. I enjoy sharing and communicating. Success was always elusive, frustratingly so. I was recognized within my industries but never outside. My wife would get public recognition for her amazing work. It is noble, but so is mine. I did not get that public recognition. I guess I wanted, after all, hiding under false modesty. Instead, I had to deal with trolls, those nasty people who hide behind the anonymity of their keyboard never revealing their faces or real names. They take cheap personal shots at you, the messenger. It was brutal, painful, and frustrating.

Eventually, after 13 years of dubious work, making little to no money and the constant humiliation of not being financially independent, California AB5 and COVID-19 stopped dead in its track that career. No more publishers save for one. Although my favorite, it is the one that pays the least. POtentials came knocking at my door, tantalizing me with eventualities that never materialized. I was flown all over the world from China to Croatia, most of Europe, and, of course, the US. I was flown business class to land a day in Beijing, off to Taiwan the next, southwest China the following day, Korea after, and Los Angeles in five days.

When Effort is the Barrier

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There's something to be said about trust, flow, surrender, and that faith thingy.

Trust and faith are like two brothers neither one understanding with their brains but feeling in their guts. Faith is a little more in the feeling region while trust might be more in the intellect, the observation region.

Surrender is what happens when you've had enough swimming against the flow. Surrender and flow are like a couple. They're different from one another. They can clash at first but after many years and decades, they understand and work together. Surrenders into the flow. How many men have felt that with their wives and parters?

Didn't Buddha say once he was enlightened that it was all so silly? There was no effort to be made. Isn't Satori a flash? No effort there.

How Tea Will Save The World

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My introduction to tea was simple. Overheated water with Lipton and Twinning packets. It was brewed strong and lemon was added to it. That is all I knew.

Then I lived in Japan. I got acquainted with Japanese high-end teas and fell in love. Sencha and Gyokuro were part of my daily life. I still liked coffee but tea felt so much more. Little did I know.

In the last few years, I traveled to China a lot. Over there, I met the person I now call my tea master. Based in Guangzhou, in the southeast part of China, I learned about the traditional Puer we rareky get in the west, raw Puer. I've been drinking his Puers every day for the past year. I learned so much.

In fact, I learned so much that my current profession, highly impacted with California's AB5, COVID-19, and the economic impact on our society has taken a second seat, way behind. I spend my time lerning more about this Emperor or Empress of tea, Puer. I still love my Japanese green teas and drink them. Together, they have opened up a Universe in front of me.

I started buying some of my tea master's Puer with friends in order to cut down on shipping. It has been so great I'm now loking into making it a business. Although a side thing, I hope it grows.

I've learned how tea is the second most drunk liquid on the planet. How only two varieties of the same plant, Camellia Sinensis give hundreds of thousands of teas. I have seen how each place, culture, and country processes and drinks tea differently. From Japan to Africa, where it is also grown, tea takes on another shade of life.

I rarely put on weight because I drink so much tea. My father-in-law was always impressed. I even turned him on to green tea. It helps me concentrate, makes me more even-keeled. Its health benefits are tremendous. This lady once said that tea makes her smart. Who knows and why not?

Madeness Watching Madeness

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I was enjoying reading people's reactions about last night's so-called presidential debate, and that's not capitalized.

For the most part, people were sad and turned off by both. I am happy to see that. An out of touch person and a stale biscuit never make for serious talks.

I am still puzzled as to why anyone would have a strong reaction watching this farce? Was it not obvious before?

In any case, this child feels freer than ever before. I am happy I barely drank the Kool-Aid. It took me not as long to stare reality in the face :)

Connecting With Fall/Autmun, Wherever You Are

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It is difficult to imagine for some that we can feel seasons changing in southern California. But you can if you are open to being in tune with nature, even in one of the most populated and sadly polluted places on Earth.
A week or so ago, I began to feel Fall's presence approaching. Like an old wise man or a Crone, she comes slowly walking in, deliberate in her footstep ushering a special quietness.


Neither This Nor That, Just Be

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The day man will stand on his own two feet and just be, neither man nor woman, straight or gay, religious or political, then man will become more whole. Then can we go pass the continual state of subservient slavery we have locked ourselves in.

When I came to this country where I live, people did not show who they voted for nor did they proclaim their religion as if it was a badge of honor. They did not talk about their sexual preferences either. They were just neighbors and went to work every day.

Thirty years later I came back and saw a very different country. The unruly children proclaimed clan affiliations. They were not Americans anymore but Irish-Americans, Italian-Americans, African-Americans. I felt strange. I was just an incarnated human being.

They proudly displayed stickers on their ancient and inefficient opposing piston internal combustion cars showing who they would vote for. Today, they even hold signs in front of their dwellings telling the world who they are voting vote. Maybe it is an ancient relic of hurd mentality, but seriously now, who cares who you vote for...

Back then, people voted according to what they believed. Over the decades, they were convinced to vote for the "lesser of evils". Fancy living in a world where you vote for the lesser of evils? I would hope for better than evil. Not my world, at least.

Looking around me, I see more people who are neither religious, political nor talk about their sexuality. Can you imagine an alien watching an Earthling proud of using its genitalia a certain way? Or who they have been persuaded to vote for and what religion they feel they belong to. As if you could be proud of having won some sort of genetic gene pool. Strange concepts. It must hide more than meets the eye.

Standing at the Gateway of Perception

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If you are feeling overwhelmed, take a step back. If that is not enough, take a few more steps back. If that is not possible, stop and recenter to your deepest, stillest. Eventually, you find yourself at the gateway of perception. Just an entity observing, watching, experiencing this passage on this plane.  There, everything falls into focus even if not always understood. At the very least, there peace can be found as you experience the totality of the experience.

If society has a hold on us it is through keeping us busy and away from calming ourselves down long enough to stop, breathe, and take scope. At a young age, we are taught to control our bodies but not our minds. We are told to have faith and trust in the unknown, unseen, and not-experienced.

One of the most positive things you can do for yourself and the environment around you is to meditate. But that word is loosely associated with many activities and not always well understood. In short, it means many things to many people. A more simple thing is to do away with any of the things we were taught. Simply go within, wait for a little, and see what happens. There you will find a far more potent teacher than any of the teachers on this Earth. There you will find the uneducated teacher, freed from schools of thoughts and systems taught on our planet. There you can find that gateway of perception with that teacher. And it is the sweetest place to be, even in the middle of a storm.

Together we can offload the weight from the world as we take on our inner work.


When the storm blows, stay inside

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It might seem simplistic to say something like this but as we watch the civil unrest taking over most of the western world one thought becomes clear. When the storm hits, stay safe inside.

Taken on a more wholistic level, we should interpret this as civil fury unleashes -- sadly manipulated by nefarious interests -- withdraw and do the inner work.

Take a Load Off the World -- Do the Inner Work

What a more perfect time as now to take on the inner work to better ourselves? To ground us in Light as the world is torn fighting a seemingly good versus evil war where only a few win?

When the storm brews is when we take our provisions and go within our shelters. Then we sit quietly going within, anchoring in the Light.

That's all. Simple, safe, and effective.

When Intelligent Quotient Mixes with Emotion and Mind

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As children, we are taught to clean our bodies but not do the same with our minds. We live in societies that insist on the mental and learning to control our body but not as much when it comes to our minds.

Intelligent quotient or IQ is highly regarded. Over the past few decades, the emotional counterpart -- EQ -- has also been highlighted. It's now time to wrap the last piece of the holly cocktail, the mind, or spiritual quotient.

Fans of the original Star Trek (TOS) the famous dilemmas presented by Spock and Bones on the Enterprise as Kirk would ultimately have the last word. Ever logical Spock represents our left brain, the rational side, the logical part of us. Bones, the Enterprise doctor Mc Coy was the passionate human, the right side of the brain. It is the side that understands the emotional, sees the harmony. Their legendary arguments were about what course of action to be taken. It included logical and emotional point was the right thing to do. Captain Kirk was ultimately the one making the final choice. He incarnated wisdom, reason, or the mind part of the equation, the spiritual quotient. Or should we call it the mind quotient? It really does not matter much at this stage.

This holy trinity was not anything new. It is as old as life itself.

While we are educated with enough logic to function in society to chase after bigger dreams, bigger TVs, houses, and cars, the emotional has not been well taught, if at all. Mental health is now a hot topic, rightfully so. However, with this new balance, we need a third to counterbalance both. What we need is a Captain who will make the final decision after having weighed both sides for the highest good of all involved.

Choosing the lesser of evils

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There is something that horrifies me how people nonchalantly say we have to vote and choose the lesser of evil. What a way to continue to disempower ourselves. What a way to continue the political slavery rigmarole. What a way to protect a few political careerists. What a way to citizens into submission.

When a society becomes reduced to voting for the lesser of evils, you know it has been brought down to its knees. Since when do we, miracles of the Universe, should choose the lesser of evils? On this planet? What a joke. We have so much potential. We are constant miracles in the making. We do not even aware of how many muscles in our feet move to allow us to walk. Yet we do it with ease, at least, for those who can walk. Men were sent to the moon, or not, with as little as a pocket calculator. There are more solutions than obstacles yet the silent majority continues to sheepishly reduce itself to choosing the lesser of evils.

As the US voting circus is unfolding its machiavellian death-spiral, it is fascinating to see that after decades of left and right parties that have held complete control of this country, we still talk of democracy. Democracy was never reduced to only voting for the lesser of evils every four years and supporting a high-flying class of political careerists representing an occult ruling class. Democracy was about you and I stepping up to the plate as citizens of a greater part and then go back home to our families.

We are being asked once again to choose what we want and voice our wants and needs, not to debase our societies by voting for the lesser of evils. Perhaps if people read the constitution, things would be a little clearer?


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