Hey everyone, my name is Tyler. I'm not really sure exactly what to say to describe myself, because that's kind of difficult from where I am. If you know yourself, then you know me. I turned 18 on the 10th of October, and I am sooooo ready and WILLING to get moving towards MY destiny ASAP. I have been working on my self since around 12 12 12, maybe exactly 12 12 12. Since I was a small child I was ALWAYS very sensitive to "things"... When I entered school things started to change about the age that people start to feel pressured, I remember how odd I felt around the rest of the kids. I never understood how to be "a human" so I watched and absorbed what I saw, and mimicked. I slowly but surely lost myself to the dark, but I am back. I have a tremendous gift with words, although this isn't a very good example. Not a soul in either side of my family has a voice like mine, it sounds so perfect when I make music, lol when I started thinking about it I wanted to start typing extremely fast excse the ego I'm still working on it :/ All of my life my teachers, people I met, worked for, ANYTHING always told me to be a lawyer for being so good at explaining things, or they tell me that I have a very distinct voice. Hell, my boss came onto me once and explained that I carry charm in my voice and body (haha they always like a dude that's shining). See, I connect with something. I first connected with this "flow" when I started rapping. I have never written anything down, I have been working on my "flow-style" for quite some time though. When I enter this I feel total bliss, I feel like I have never been so excited to be here in my life. The odd thing is it's almost like that's the only time the true "me" is out, and boy when he is out he sounds better than Lil Wayne sometimes. I believe that I astral travel, but I confuse them with lucid dreams, and sometimes they aren't very good dreams. I recently realized that this CRAZY and I mean CRAZY dream that I had , in which a LOT happened and my ex called me that morning to tell me about the dream we shared, was a rough summary of what I have been doing up until the point I saw that. I had completed that dream, and noticed that I had been realizing my dreams. Well, the night that I realized it was the night that I finally had my next dream like that. In this next dream I went to places that I visit often in dreams, but this time they were all improved! I don't remember the first one, but for some reason my mother woke me up in the middle of the night, and in the dream I was so sad that I was about to have to wake up, because I don't remember what I was doing at all, but I do know that I had everything I ever wanted, and I was able to take care of all my loved ones. The thing about it is, in the dream, I had de ja vu that reminded me of a time when it wasn't like that. And I remember being so happy to know that there was no need to worry. When I went back to sleep that night I immediately went to a place I recognize now. It's my town, but darker and strange. Ever seen insidious? The further, I hope not. But the last two times I have been in this place, and went to Wal-Mart I was shot. THe first time I was shot in the place that Jesus was stapped. The second time I was shot but I knew it was coming. This time though, I was walking towards the place I was shot last time. I was braced and ready for whatever it was. I know that in all of these I report to someone or have a connection that allows me to know that I am fine. Well, I found a note on the ground where the shooter was last time... I don't remember what it said, but it wasn't much. I went to my jeep, and I don't remember the confrontation very much this time but I remember absolute pure fear, the scariest thing that I have ever experienced. He didn't let me see his face, never has, but this time I saw his arm. I was in the passenger side of my jeep in the part I remember, in a hurry to not be "gotten" by "him".. I remember his arm flailing from atop the jeep, and he had only a tazer this time. I screamed and fought the arm but my fear made my will weak I suppose, and he touched it to my chest... Oh my god the feeling of that tazer was real. And the only time I've felt one I was too drunk to remember. I jolted and shook and struggled to get sound from my mouth and finally I woke up, sitting, out of breath. I AM so ready to begin my spiritual career. I want to help people understand because I am excellent at explaining almost anything you would need explained, even if I don't understand it. I'm posting this because I am hoping that someone with some type of valuable word of advice will read it, and help me in some way. I will go to college if need be, I will study in India if need be, I will drop my love for music if I have to. I just feel like I need to get the ball rolling. Everything has come full circle recently, and I feel so new and ready. Please someone help in whatever way you can. I am willing and asking for energetic help if able, please contact me first though. Thanks for having this website to do this with, where else can I explain these feelings? Also, could I be dealing with a negative entity? I delved into a lot of negative things when I was younger out of spite to my mother.
Sat, 10/19/2013 - 18:44#1
Tyler Howell, 18, I Am ready for whatever it is. PLEASE HELP