The bad is always heaviest to carry around.
Smells in the room make memories come alive
creating sensations beyond my beautiful mask.
Breath of life, breath of love is best
but sometimes more than I can bare.
A beautiful, sensual graceful dancer turns into
a waif with one sock falling down revealing insecurity.
My hands tremble although nothing tangible is there
except cobwebs blowing in the wind
on a frosted morning. Where do I get the strength?
I feel cheated, vulnerable,
life cooperates with my persecutors.
It unravels. Don’t kiss me. Don’t fool me.
My persona becomes a cruel joke
with unintended consequences.
Do you know my eyes sparkle when I smile?
In the sun on a ocean beach,
I just am. The happiest time of my life is now.
Ironically, the sex goddess disappears at sunset.
The past and present turn on me.
Why did everything have to turn out the way it did?
Only the future answers me.
Lurking in my imagination, it compels me to go forward,
and I want to.
I want to live, protect my life and to trust it.
This isn’t easy, life cheated.