Chase The Problem, It will Come Back Running At You

33Nicolas's picture

The human makeup is perfectly well made up. We can handle a lot, process almost anything, and establish healthier foundations. But stand in the way of processing, push it away to eventually deal with it later and the problems exponentially grow. In other words, chase away unresolved problems, they will come back with insistence. Might as well resolve it now. It only gets tougher the longer you wait.

Cannabis and alcohol are strange substances. Alcohol is perfectly accepted in most cultures and even has medicinal values. Cannabis is not as accepted and has medicinal values. Both work wonder in temporarily putting away problems to the side. But problems do not resolve themselves on their own. That is why we sleep. So that we can process, order, arrange and learn from what we experienced. Without sleep, we put things to the side. We might use cannabis and alcohol to alleviate stress, but the problems remain.

EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) was invented in order to deal with old traumas that were not properly processed earlier. The reason why it works is that it lets us re-experience a traumatic event and letting the human psyche deal with it in a natural way. Progressive Counting also works very well I hear.

The human psyche is well done. It can tolerate so much and when limits have been reached. It can turn itself off. That is why so many who have been molested or raped talk about not being there, being removed from the event, as if their mind had been removed and taken elsewhere. It is the way our psyche deals with traumatic events. It shuts down temporarily and deals with it later, usually at night during sleep.

But one thing life teaches us is that no matter how many times we push our problem away, they come back asking to be dealt with. It can take decades to confront and process events. In the meantime, we might use substances to continue pushing away from the mind of that experience. But it is like taking steps back to better jump. Eventually, you find yourself no longer able to sustain the anxiety. You then either deal with it or use more substances to further numb yourself. More substance abuse leads to more disconnection from reality. More reality disconnection leads to not seeing the fine lines we are careful never to cross. It takes a toll on our health with a high-stress level, guilt, and constant anxiety. It eats away our minds and eventually our bodies.

It is not easy dealing with complex traumas. Sometimes it takes expert help, sometimes sleep, and sometimes it takes decades for someone to feel ready to confront it. The good news is that all it can take is asleep. More often than not, it needs to be understood and let go. It is not easy but it has been done many times in the past and for horrendous situations. Either way we look at it, a problem never vanishes because we push it away. It needs to get absorbed, understood, distilled into wisdom. It helps us lay better foundations that make us better people.

Nothing is stuck in time. People have shown to go above and beyond their genetic predispositions. But it means dealing with the problem in a calm, semi-detached way, with lucidity and courage. And hey, there always someone around to help most of the time.