DEEPLY AWAKE - FINAL WORDS

 

DEEPLY AWAKE – FINAL WORDS

 

I am writing this as a letter to myself. I have meditatively gathered up many of my fragments, called many parts of myself home, and feel oddly consolidated.

 

I have been puzzling on the meaning of the solstice now since the 12-12-12, and although I may not be that much closer to knowing what will happen, I want to record my letter, a letter I intend to wake up and read tomorrow morning.

 

As I prepare to do this, I am aware that it will be a bigger/different portion of myself doing the typing. I'm ok with that, hope you are too.

 

 

December 21, 2012,

 

Dearest Friend Kathy,

 

Another cold December morning.

 

But it is unlike any other December morning in the history of man.

 

And do you know why that is?

 

Well, partly because that's what everyone believes is true, and partly because there is an energetic signature to this day that is unique.

 

Understand that the dissonance you feel, that going in-going out sensation you get when you consider the poles, this is normal. Part of you is thinking, gee, this is an energetic fact, this is a special day. Part of you is thinking, this day is special only because so many entities in my world have given it meaning.

 

But no, we hope you can now see the beauty, and the irony, to all of this.

 

Not everyone has been steeped in this teaching. Do you really believe that everyone has done what you have done, abandoning your position of wealth and standing, studying incessantly, using everything in your reality as fodder, as grist, as another way to wake up.

 

Dear one, we are in awe. We are in awe. We extend an invitation to you to stand in front of this living tableau you have fashioned. Just get a taste of it. An eye full of it.

 

In a year's time, you have become, quite literally, a different person. You do not eat the same foods as you once did, you don't do most of the things the way you once did, and the few areas where these patterns persist, oh, you go hard on yourself.

 

Do you see how you have created this whole thing?

 

Your reality is mirroring back to you that today, The Winter Solstice 2012, is a special day. Mainly because the energy you have gathered into your life over this year is reflecting to you this new Earth, risen from the still, compassionate words of long gone Teachers.

 

The Teachers told me all I needed to know.

 

They told me all about the process.

 

It is flooding my awareness, and today, on the solstice, you are asked to keep The Teachers in your heart, on your tongue, in your mind. Keep them present.

 

Why were we crestfallen, 20 years ago, after the 12-12?

 

We were crest-fallen because THERE HADN'T BEEN ENOUGH OF US. Do you remember that? That was the whole reason for it not working. There hadn't been enough souls to do the work in the physical.

 

And now there are.

 

Today, all over the globe, people just like me are going to be saying prayers, setting intentions, and many will be doing such advanced stuff, it makes my head spin. Everyone will have their booth open today, and the only currency is love.

 

Now, The Teachers never steered me wrong. Not once. And their teaching about critical mass came to me, and needs to be included in this letter.

 

Remember yesterday, how bogged down you started to get, thinking that all of this was just made up, a control game of the Illuminati to screw with people's hearts and minds. Remember how weirded out you got about that?

 

Here's what got you out of your funk. And this will guide you through the day today:

 

It is just quite possible that the first wave will be activated tomorrow.

 

Now, in Teacher-Talk, what that means is that there will be enough participation, enough human energy flowing, tomorrow, for enough of us to get high enough to actually physically ascend.

 

The first wave.

 

Now, I know that this is a concept which is at the heart of a lot of matters, but I am falling back on what The Teachers said to me all those years ago. They said that ascension is very common, the evolutionary mechanism. But what is being attempted on Earth is so singular, so unique, that no one really knows how it is going to play out.

 

The way it usually works, and the way The Teachers taught us, is that there is a first wave in any ascension process. The first wave is made up of people who are mavericks, who buck the system and know they are not from it. They ascend. They return and mingle. The work becomes all about getting more and more people to wake up, astounding more and more people with all these so-called miracles, just spreading the love, spreading the joy.

 

Then the second wave ascends. And waves one and two work on the more reluctant among us.

 

So, I have done a lot of blog reading, a lot of thinking, some writing, some praying, and a whole year of days spent going, moment by moment, feeling by feeling, from this site to that site, this author to that speaker, picking my way through a delightful garden of forbidden fruits from the ancient lineages.

 

And here I am, on December 21.

 

So, yes, I do think, my lovely friend, that this could be a very good day for you. Certainly, there has never been a day more taut with others' expectations. That counts for something.

 

And that random thought,that, well, at least now I'm not alone, those seven words sort of sum it all up. There are a whole lot of real live people praying with all their hearts for world peace, self realization, and a love which surpasses all other experience on this very day. And that counts for something.

 

When will there ever be a day more ripe to ride the swells of goodwill?

 

Combine that with all the calendar completions. Even if you begin to believe that all of it is quite sloppy and imprecise, could be off by decades, even so, there are just too many coincidences, with all the different calendars coming to a close.

 

And don't forget what David Wilcock said, all those months ago, that everyone who tried to go past 2012 hit an energetic wall, an impenetrable wall of light in that ET chair the government had. From the solstice forward, no one could go forward, in the Looking Glass experiments. Don't forget that.

 

But I had my wall of light in May.

 

And that leads me to the end of this letter.

 

You have been waiting, in suspended animation almost, for a year, but in many ways, every day of your freaking life. You have waited in the wings, fully aware of your power, but tamping it down, allowing others to tamp, tamp, tamp. You have been biding your time, cooling your heels.

 

At the end of this day, whether you ascend or not, there will still be you. And there will, more than likely, although I really can't conceive of why, there will probably still be this apartment, this computer, these clothes, these circumstances.

 

And what of it?

 

If my “limited” 3d view doesn't alter significantly, that will be a little disappointing, but not a big deal, given how great things are getting overall. And if I still experience no sustained nirvana, and wind up here in the midst of all the dumb things I have been creating with such conviction, then I still will have something I didn't have before the solstice.

 

See, the solstice today is a big day for a lot of people, and numerologically and maybe even astronomically, it's a big day, an auspicious day. But, within it, it holds an even greater day. The Day After.

 

Remember, on the day after, no matter what happens, you will have lived through this great shift. Whether man made, cosmically made, or a combination, it's a big deal. A big deal. And then it will be over. All the waiting I feel I have done, gee, my whole life feels like one long wait, see, I think that sense of anticipation will be lifted. And I think that is a marvelous gift!

 

I have way too many people I consider authorities all telling me, quite independent of each other, that this shift is real, it is happening now, and the end result is much more of the beauty and synchronicity my life has started becoming.

 

I know that on the Monday after the solstice, I can and will be taking a different approach to a few things.

 

And I know I have been writing about this stuff what seems like forever, but there it is again. This sense of suspension of action, animation. Just being suspended in a jar full of some jelly that makes me think like an Indian Monk. That's where I have been.

 

And I feel like on Monday, the lid is coming off.

 

I have put myself away for this last year, and as I have reiterated, in many ways, my whole life has been spent on the shelf. I did it all, had lots of experiences, but the real good stuff, the raw, beautiful powerful stuff, that's only been in the company of The Teachers, with my old gurus, with my new friends.

 

Isn't it ironic, for someone who has had extremes in experience, that I feel somehow cocooned from it all, in some odd way. Maybe what I am tapping into is having lived the last 52 years as a caterpillar. And on Monday, I have a weird feeling that, big soul on fire event or not, I will be a butterfly.

 

So, today, The Winter Solstice, 12-21-12, is a big day.

 

You have Sam today. And you guys will have fun. It's your day. Just stay conscious. Just stay aware. Just laugh and be alive. What else can be done?

 

And all the details and inconveniences and doubts and fears, the hopes and plans and visions and lists, let each and every one of them, let them all just tinkle to the ground like pick up sticks, and let each of those inconveniences, each of those fears and worries, let each of them shatter, and in the force of their breaking, let the pure white light of love, acceptance, forgiveness, permission, escape.

 

Let the love which begat and sustained these constructs now expand and fill the room, fill my lungs, fill the sky and the earth with such tender love for myself. Each foible, each trauma, each joy, each kindness, let each and every facet of the me I became spin and twirl, a diamond, lit from within with the thousand suns of complete surrender to one's own rightness.

 

Let thoughts of gridwork, spaceships, political justice, romantic completion, home decoration, personal finances, life mission, getting it right, doing it in time, let all of that fade.

 

None of it matters.

 

We can put everything in balance. Everything will once again be made whole.

 

Just rest through this day, breathe, enjoy the simplest of pleasures, laugh, my sweet, laugh, rest, drink and eat. Experience pleasure and comfort. Go deep and stay long.

 

Monday will come.

 

But the yammer yammer, no, I don't think it'll be there.

 

If there is a yammer yammer, I think I know how to still it.

 

By Monday, I will have lived through the solstice weekend. For better or worse, it'll be done. It is not a surprise that my work life is at a stand still. Everything is at a standstill. Even my car won't start.

 

When I find myself forced to be still, there is always a very good reason.

 

Monday will come, and I will move again, now a butterfly, released from a stuffy old jar.

 

For some reason, what Bashar says about the solstice doesn't upset me. He said that it is an energetic marker, a vortex or a portal. And before that day, the balance is slightly more negative than positive. After that day, the balance is slightly more positive than negative.

 

The world will go on. We will keep on creating, as Dee Wallace says.

 

I carry within my heart of hearts a secret wish to ascend. To blink off, go away, get trained, and return. That is my secret hope, for this most auspicious of days.

 

If that happens, that will be very nice. If it doesn't happen, then that's ok too. I'm not married to this date. It's everybody around me who's going nuts about it. I'm just along for the ride, hoping there will be enough push to get this thing off the ground this time.

 

Kathy, I do want you to read this tomorrow morning, because I do worry about you. I know that you sense this date as some sort of cliff. And you also see it as a somewhat synthetic event. But, let's not forget, Christmas is a purely synthetic event. It morphs each year, each generation. It is an entity. As is the solstice. As is ascension, for that matter.

 

The synthetic nature of the date is there as a safeguard, because it is unlikely that your boots will get knocked off, and you can use this device if it helps you in explaining things to yourself.

 

The worry is that deep down soul ache that you can still call up in a moment, that one that makes you feel just awful, disconnected from Source, all alone here on Earth.

 

Don't let a date allow such sloppy thinking.

 

If ascension doesn't happen tomorrow, then it will happen some other time. The eternal believer, it will neither sway my belief, my enthusiasm nor my joy.

 

Nope, I will not allow the anticipation of an outcome, any outcome, to lord itself over me today.

 

Here I am, right where I wanted to be at letters end, wishing you a happy solstice, completely and blissfully removed from any desire from any outcome at all. In a state of no meaning, all meaning. In a state of bliss.

 

I say to all my sisters and brothers around the world, celebrating in your own unique way today, HELLO! How are you? Happy to meet you! What is a zap of electricity, a blinding white light, what are special powers, when I have all this love and so many people to give it away to? Who really needs wheels-within-wheels, when I can meditate, or even just look out a window, and see these, my brothers and sisters, popping up all over the world, feeling healthy and true and right, awake and ready.

 

Monday will come. Monarch, fluttering, maybe a little hesitant at first, appreciating the new found sense of freedom and lightness, I will accomplish whatever tasks are at hand, wherever I find myself. It doesn't matter where I find myself on Monday. Today, the solstice, I am at home, with my kid, laughing, thinking good thoughts, and hoping everyone comes to love and respect and accept themselves as I am beginning to.

 

Namaste,

 

Kathy Vik