Conflict with other people is an issue that I hear a lot about in my private practice and also of course something I deal with in my own life – though less and less. Learning how to work our way through conflict is a big part of being human. Whether it’s with a boss, a spouse, an ex or a sibling – relationship conflicts can be incredibly draining and seem never-ending when you are embroiled in them.
Most of us have been taught ways to deal with conflict on an emotional and mental level and how forgiveness is the key to releasing the bitterness and pain for ourselves that comes from most types of conflict (which I know to be true). But what I want to talk about more deeply is the “energetics” of conflict and how to diffuse it.
First – let’s look at the energetic pattern of a conflict between two people who are both actively engaged in it (meaning, both have a strong feeling or idea of how they want the conflict to be resolved). What the energy of this looks like is two people facing each other, both with their energy moving in an outward direction towards each other – clashing in the middle – and creating an immovable ball of energy that does not travel greatly in either direction and requires a HUGE amount of energy from both parties to keep animated.
