Beloved, I hear you ask Me from the far reaches of your mind:
“Dear God, what is the sum total of life, and in particular, my life, if I can indeed call my life my own? Where does this that is called my life exist? Is my life lived within its recollection, or is it not?
“Okay, does life exist in its foretelling as well as its playing out? Or does life exist especially in my thoughts about what I think. Do my thoughts about my life recognize and resuscitate my life? Unless I think about my life, practically speaking, would my life exist? I wonder if I didn’t contemplate my life, contemplate myself, would I exist?
“Life isn’t exactly easy for me to put my finger on. If I didn’t think about my life and aim to think about it, would I be anywhere? Actually, dear God, if somewhere is space, haven’t you said that there is no time and no space? You can see that I am in a quandary.
“God, human life has to amount to more than the tick-tocking of a heartbeat.
“Will a lifetime in which is called done require my recall, or will someone’s recall or a written book restore my life if it actually existed or ever did? Is life lived only in thoughts and not on its own vantage without its own formation or quite entering or leaving as if on its own?
“The expression of life in the raw exists in words all right. I’ve heard it. I guess this means real life as it is. As I say this expression, I have no idea what I am saying. I want to understand. If this means life can occur not in the raw, am I saying then that my life is no more than an idea or a thought I think or discover or whatever I think is going on?
“What does life consist of? Can life be Our talking together, God, and Our talking together is the sum total of life as mime as it is called?
“Is it safe to say what is called my singular life is not long and that the mind is no longer? The idea of mine is a vague gesture.
“Is it possible, dear God, that I, or anyone, live only in thought?
“When and if my life exists, can there be a pre-life and also an after-life as well? Does my life keep running along? Is my so-called life somehow continually recorded and continually playing?
“Is there a time and place where non-existence doesn’t hold forth? Who stokes fire into my life?
“Is it true to say I continue to live simply in a different location on another level and perhaps for another purpose – another level of life, another dimension? Is life all-dimensioned at the same time, as if playing out here and there in many stages?
“God, you have also said that there is no beginning to life and no ending. Is life not performed on any stage then? Is life a total thought-process? Can it be there is no action, no activity that goes on – only in a thought of it?
“I am in a quandary. I want real life to be true. I do. Yet I don’t want it stored. I don’t really even know what I am saying as I say it.
“When I come down to it, do I really know what anything means or just take a stab at it?”
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