Let it Rain…
I Love the rain. I always have. Maybe it’s because Water is my element. Maybe it’s because I’ve had sorrow in my Life and the rain is fresh and rejuvenating. Maybe it’s because Spring is my favorite season. Maybe it’s because I want to feel Pure and Clean. I wish this was the rain I was talking about right now but what I’m talking about right now is the rain that pours from Heart, Soul, and eyes. This rain is grief and this is a very common process that we go through when we have had a loss or trauma in our Lives. I have recently gone through this grieving process and it happened shortly after my awakening back in August. This was difficult and confusing for me at the time because I had just been given the greatest Gift of my Life in finding God and Spirit and coming to terms with past traumas in my Life that had never been acknowledged or released. This grieving process is a normal, natural process but it can become very difficult if we don’t accept it and allow ourselves to work through it. The only thing is that instead of calling it a “grieving” process I would like to formally change the name to the Healing Process. When I went through my Healing process I wasn’t prepared nor did I know what to expect so it was a bit “scary” for me in that I felt as if something was “wrong” with me for feeling so down when I should have been floating on a cloud rainbow. At any rate, my parents dog died on Wednesday and my step-dad is having a really hard time with it and I feel sad for him in knowing how difficult this process is to go through. He told me that he felt empty and that as someone with a low “emotional curve” it was probably a good thing. Well, my step-dad has a huge Heart but he goes to great links to “hide” it from the world and I know that he really does have a low emotional curve. As a matter of fact, I respect him in being able to voice this to me because it means that he is “aware” and this journey is about becoming more aware as a species, right? At any rate, I have something to say about grief and more importantly, the Healing process. I’ve become so Grateful for every little thing as I go through this journey and the more Grateful I am for the lessons the more lessons I am presented with. This is one of them and I hope this is helpful for those who are grieving, have grieved, or who are trying to release past traumas in their Lives. Allow this process to ensue if it needs to because it’s not worth the trauma that’s caused by keeping it inside. It’s a painful process, yes, but so worth it in the end and it’s why we are here on Earth at this time. We are here to have the full human experience and to feel the full gamut of our human emotions and to deny these emotions is to deny destiny. This is what I know about grief and this process. I’m referring to our friend because it doesn’t matter if you are grieving a loved one, friend, animal spirit, or yourself; we still have to let go sometimes and it’s hard to let go of these dear, dear friends.
I AM Grateful for grief and the process because it allows me to know that I AM Alive and that I have Loved and been Loved:
This is grief. This is sorrow and you have to know that you will grieve and be prepared for that so you can begin to Heal. This is a process that isn’t easy but will be made more difficult if you don’t allow yourself to go through it the proper way. By not allowing yourself this necessary process you will only prolong it but it also helps to understand it and what to expect. You are grieving and you will do so until you are finished and no one will know how long that will take, especially you. You can’t expect to just “be done” with it because as I said it will only make it harder. There will be times when you will feel as if you are okay only to find 2 days later that this may not be the case and you need to be okay with that as much as want to “wish” it away. You will be in denial because your mind is having a hard time accepting this very different reality but it will slowly allow you to access the other emotions involved as you are ready. You will be angry because you are in pain and because you miss your friend. You will be angry because you are scared of what your Life will be without this dear Soul to turn to. You will feel somewhat helpless because of the circumstances and this is called “bargaining” because it will make us feel a need to control certain things. Part of this need to “control” is because there is sorrow behind this and once the mind is finished “masking” these other symptoms you will feel very sad and this is painful. This is where it’s tricky and the “avoidance” comes in because it may feel like you want to release this sorrow but in order to do that you have to allow yourself to feel the pain that comes with it. Sorrow is hard but it doesn’t have to be if you allow yourself to feel it Truly and the best way to do that is by honoring your friend and the Joy they brought to your Life. The heartwarming moments that come to mind when you think of them in tribute are the key to mastering this process. In these moments is where you will find your friend and more importantly their Spirit. These are your memories and no one can take them away from you so you honor your friend by allowing yourself to remember them in this way. These moments in time are forever sealed in the Book of Life, the Akashic Records, or the Cosmic Mind – however you wish to look at it. The Love you have for each other is forever recorded in the Universe and will be there for all time. This is where you will find your friend both here and “later”. Allow yourself to feel the sorrow so that you can rejoice in the memories. Allow yourself to cry the tears because it means you Loved your friend and you are releasing the pain that should not be kept inside. You cannot remember the good times by avoiding thinking about your friend at all so in order to honor their memory you have to honor yourself in remembering. Be forever Grateful for all of the memories in every moment that you think of your friend. I will say to you that there must be rain in order for flowers to grow. There must be rain to maintain balance on Mother Earth. And, most importantly, there must be rain in order to know that you Loved your friend, they Loved you, and you will miss their presence in your Life. I will say to you:
Let it Rain…
After the Rain comes the Rainbow and this is acceptance. When you see the Rainbow you will know that your friend is just on the other side filled with Joy that you made the journey down this road together. You will See and feel the Spirit of your friend and their Gratitude that you Loved them enough to remember and Honor them in this way even though it caused you great pain and heartache. Thank them for walking down this path with you and for being with you when you finally reached the Rainbow. This is when you will know that they are always with you and will forever be a part of your Soul and you of theirs. This is when you will remember where they are and where you come from.
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Another kind of grieving- When my best friend and lover dropped dead on the drive in the dark all alone at the turn of the millenium, I found him and I faught for his life for about an hour- then the torch died and with no help around I did my 10 compressions and ran to the road with a wheelbarrow to force someone to stop, help eventually came and an ambulance arrived and "clear" was shouted but the god of small things got the machine and the battery was Flat, I knew my friend had gone from this life- I felt so desolate I waved the ambulance away with the corpse of my companion in it- for his spirit would be at home -then I cryed so hard but not for him for myself- for I still had the hard stuff to do and he was free........ Death is just another birth......