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AwakeTormentedL...
AwakeTormentedLovingSoul's picture
New here,

Greetings everyone,

    My name is Crystopher, I have a jagged and rough past, up to this point. (not looking for pity, just a brief update to catch everyone up) I feel I started to wake up on Dec 22, 2010 but it has been a constant process sometimes gradual other times completely shatters everything and anything I have ever known, and I am at the point now where I am questioning the reality my eyes see, as I am starting to feel like a horse with blinders on and I do not like it, I feel like there are things in plain sight that I cannot see, and I want to see them, I am very intuitive, like to observe, am completely anti-violence, feel very lost in this world we live in, which doesn't feel right, things need to change, I am not trying to make labels but I have begun doing some reading very recently and I believe I am a Crystal child(adult now) and lightworker.. I want to hone my abilities and ascend but do not know how, I want to become who I am meant to be. I need help I am about to walk/skate from Starke, FL to St. Pete FL. if nobody knows how far that is, it is roughly 200 miles each way. I have never attempted anything like this before, my mind at first didn't know what to think but my heart and soul have stood by me and supported and nurtured this decision, I am learning to forage, this is my way I guess of trying to learn more about myself, My life has been a constant adventure and I love it. Although I am progressively feel more and more and more pulled for something bigger, all my life I have known(even as a babe) I will do something(no idea what, but starting to get ideas at this point in life..23 years later) Very big that will change this world as we know it. I still feel that way completely.

 My life in a nutshell until my "adulthood"(18) was very sheltered I had no idea honestly about anything and feel a large gap from being connected to myself, starting when I was abused, trauma at 7, until I dropped acid for the first time at 20. from 7 - 20 I can look back and see and remember everything but it feels empty and I know I didn't feel connected during any of that time.

 That is all I have the time to post now as the pc resource is closing.. Lol

  Any suggestions or feedback is very appreciated. and I look forward to all of the learning and experience I will gain, maybe even make some friends along the way =)

 

Peace & Love,

Crystopher

2633
2633's picture
i feel for ya and i feel the

i feel for ya and i feel the exact same way sometimes. im 23 years old and i dunno what to say to ya but i was guided to read this and make a comment lol i dont know when i began to wake up but i activated my heart chakra 20th dec 2012 after a few hours of meditation that night, it was only about a month later i realised i activated my heart chakra, its still all new to me aswel, but i have a good feeling about this year and i think a lot of questions will be answered.

j m

TruthBeTold
TruthBeTold's picture
Seek on, Beloved Seeker!! 

Seek on, Beloved Seeker!!  Exciting times no??  From my experience (however limited that may be, through my filters, yada yada) I'd like to encourage you to keep those beautiful eyes open (those blinders you mentioned are merely illusion - one day soon you'll realize they've been gone yet were never truly there to begin with) and soak EVERYthing in :)  Your discernment deep in your gut will never let you down, and the more experiences and knowledge that you expose yourself to will only serve your journey, swelling your ever-growing discernment, therefore allowing you to make so-called 'educated' decisions... the learning will never cease... the seeking will never cease... all we need is really within us, always has been :)  Be Sovereign, Brother!

AwakeTormentedL...
AwakeTormentedLovingSoul's picture
Thank you for the supurb feedback!!

Thank you both; 2633, & TruthBeTold for your awesome and heartfelt feedback! I felt in deep within great gratitude, and found great comfort in the words you have provided me with. I will always learn, and always seek I love it all more and more every time I learn anything new. I am planning on doing a white sage ritual to cleanse my energy, I have never done so in my life, and for at least the last 3-4 years I have noticed anyone I meet or sometimes even see or briefly chat to I unintentionally seem to pull in some of their energy therefore giving me some of their traits and I liked it when I didn't realize what was going on at first, but as time progressed I started becoming more and more unhappy, lost and even went through some serious identity crisis, mentally, physically, sexually, even my personality changed. I didn't like it and when I became aware of what was going on I started seeking ways to resolve this issue, sage first came into my life(my conscious life after when I started my awakening that is) was last year up in Asheville, NC I met a beautiful soul named Mary, whom was partially Native American and big into wolfs(they are her thing) long story short I came across it again after posting here yesterday and started reading, I am going to do my first house cleansing for my mom and her boyfriend and his house they are working on I have been into once, and the moment I stepped in maybe even before I felt uncomfortable I could feel a lot of pain has been caused and/or received here. I started feeling sick to my stomach, but I pushed through to explore the house, half expecting something paranormal to happen.. Anyways I am going to cleanse the house for them and then myself, after I take a salt bath to prepare. any advice? Thank you my sovereign friends!

TruthBeTold
TruthBeTold's picture
sry for quickie, just hv a

sry for quickie, just hv a sec! Sage in ur bath too. Always follow a sage smudge w/ sweet grass - sage cleanses therefore leaving it open to anything - sweet grass allows only pure energies in & seals it.

AwakeTormentedL...
AwakeTormentedLovingSoul's picture
Thank you! I had no idea :-)

Thank you! I had no idea :-)

TruthBeTold
TruthBeTold's picture
Crystopher StarShine!

I didn't deliberately drop off, sorry for my delay in responding!

How did everything go w/ your cleansing of the home?

What fabulous experiences have added to your 'newness'?

Zoltar
Zoltar's picture
Calling planet earth

Greetings, hope all is well. 

Perhaps you need to listen to some Sun Ra. Dont listen to what you want to hear, hear the music and feel it. 

As a general rule, if you want to change something, start from within. Try changing the world after you live off grid for 25 years, like you mentioned. You wont want to come out of those woods. 

A good author is Walter Evans-Wentz  Check out some of his books. Zoltar 

 

OK

Mabrahmz
Mabrahmz's picture
Hi Crystopher,

Hi Crystopher,

I can totally relate to what you have been through, my life was also sheltered but also very traumatic when growing up.  I know that feeling you have that you are meant to be doing something and it will be something big, but you have no idea what.  It has taken me 47 years to get to the point of finally knowing and understanding what my mission is.  I'm not saying you will take 47 years lol, just that it does take time and everything unfolds in the right time.  Please have faith in this.

I fully believe our life path, from the day we are born until now, is a path of progression, leading us forward to do what it is we came here to do.  It may not seem that way now and it may not all make sense, but it will one day.  The best way I know of to find the answers is simply to tune within, listen to what your instinct tells you and trust it with total faith - even when it seems like what you are being lead to makes no rational sense.   Know that the answers will come when the rime is right for them.  The path always unvails at exactly the right pace at the right time.  It will work this way for you too.

People will offer you ideas of what worked for them and that's wonderful, but always ask yourself "Does this feel right for me?"  You will instinctively know if something feels right to try out.  If something doesn't, it might mean it's just not for you or just not for you now.  

paula1963
paula1963's picture
Hello Chrystopher

Hi I'm new here too. Sorry you have experienced so much sadness in your life. I agree with what others have suggested. Search inside your soul and find what feeds it. Sometimes it is good to re-evaluate our life and see if it's going in a positive direction. They say there is always a reason why something happens in life. Try to bring the positive out of a negative and find peace within. Bless you. 

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