Weeping is a mechanism that lets go of sorrow. Yet you do not really want to be done with sorrow. You may say you do. You may think you do, yet you drown yourself in tears of sorrow, and somehow, and somehow the sorrow is a comfort to you. Weeping assuages something within you at the same time as it opens wounds and puts salt on them. When you don’t know what else to do, you cry. It is not a show-down. It is not coming to terms with your self-avowed heartache. It is just weeping, and sometimes you don’t really know why. You can list reasons, yet you don’t really know why.
It is not wrong to cry. If it is a release, it is a release you need at the time. You don’t know what else to do. Often your woe doesn’t have a name. It is an unnamed woe in your heart. There seems to be no end to it. When you turn the pages of your life on Earth, you feel abandonment. Time has passed, and loved ones are no longer with you. Your crying may come down to this:
“What am I going to do without my friend? I have lost a friend. I have lost mother and father and brothers and sisters and more friends that I can count. In many ways, loved ones are lost to me in a distance of time and space. Oh, how I would visit with my lost friends now if I could.
“I am bereft at life. Life is an ache in my heart. I am sure life is not meant to hurt so much.
“The truth is that I seem to need something to happen in my life in order to be happy. Something wonderful has to happen on the surface of my life for me to be happy. I know better to think that way. All I need is You, God. And all I have is You, and yet …and yet ... something is missing, and somehow, forgive me, You do not always assuage my heart. This is a lack in me. My heart seems to be full of grief and empty of joy. Sometimes I would seek forgetfulness and swim in the River of Lethe where there are no absences and no memories of the past nor any dreams for the future. Sometimes I would welcome nothingness.
“It is like You cannot wipe my tears. Even when my eyes are dry and I weep no longer, my tears have left for only a while. They are waiting for me off-stage. They will even come unbidden. They seem to come on their own.
“There have been times when I have really believed that I have made it and tears are behind me. Too soon I could name my life: The Return of Tears, the Triumph of Tears, Sadness over Joy. At this moment, tears are my only friends. They are in my corner. They hang out with me. They are at my beck and call. They are good servants who come to my aid. I seem to need them, yet I do not want them.
“I want You, God, yet I am too often closer to tears than I am to You.”
Beloveds, it doesn’t matter. All this doesn’t matter. What you describe here today is not all that you are. It is not representative of you. Have a good cry when you do. Remind yourself about tears of joy that have also hung out with you.
Joy is now waiting for you around the corner. You will be dancing in joy again. You will have more joy than you ever imagined. Joy will overwhelm you. You will be overjoyed. This is in the offing for everyone of My children. It is in the offing for you. You can continue to lament if you wish, yet you don’t have to. Release the past and enjoin with Me now. Here, sit right here, near Me.
