Beloved, We meet here and now in this world that is called a small world and also may seem vast and insurmountable. You find yourself here on Earth all the days of your life. You may not quite know how to express life's brilliance. There are times you hardly know how to contain yourself here on Earth. You don’t know what kind of covering to put on life or how to go about it at the same time as you desire to know more, to know all, to frequent the stars and the mellow Moon and the yellow Sun and planets and all sorts of wondrous life to behold and never forget and, yet to be freed from.
How did you get here? You don’t know what to make of life on Earth. You don’t know what conclusion to jump to or to run from.
Perhaps, in another lifetime, perhaps life will come with instructions. You would definitely like bigger print. What would it be like if you could trade in one life for another with the slip of a switch? At the same time, you may prefer life to be as God wills it. You’re not sure you can follow through and be the highest, let alone high at all. You’re not at all sure about life. You’re not sure you can manage. You are almost sure that you cannot.
You’re not always sure you want to. You are not given enough information. You’re not even sure you want to come out alive. Where do you go then, and where have you been anyway?
You’re not sure you learned the right language. When it comes to language, you feel sad about leaving this planet, the planet you landed on. You might miss this familiar language more than you can bear. You don’t want to learn another language all over again.
You want the same language and the same parents. Can you do better a second time around? How do you know? Do you really get second chances, and how do you fare?
Is there anyone you can save or give a second chance to? What do numbers mean anyway?
Einstein got off on numbers. “I never really got the hang of them,” you sigh. You say:
“I might choose colors this time around and jewelry. Or I might live in the mountains, and I would be taller, or would I be shorter and at one ocean or another, and what are pueblos?
“Did I lose my heart somewhere? Is it time I got my heart back? I don’t want to lose sight of it. How will I know it is my heart, or will I just have to guess? Can I swear by it?
“Sometimes I wander.
“I know what. I want to be redeemed. I want to find the exit. I want to find a new door. If only I knew what I want, then I could put in for it.
“Do I want to lead, or do I want to follow, if I want to do anything at all?
“The truth seems to be that I never got to know myself.
“Do I really want to get out of my skin?
“Are there people I really care about? Will I do better with people a second time time around?
“When I come back to Earth, God, give me an update or a new character or take me around the block. I could use an update.”
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