DEEPLY AWAKE - LESSONS LEARNED

 

LESSONS LEARNED

 

It is no accident that on Friday, just a few dozen hours ago perhaps, things happened the way they happened.

 

I had a relatively easy shift, but had started it out by openly complaining in a Facebook post about having to go work. An old friend replied to me and we went back and forth about things. It was very pleasant. But something within that back and forth banter rang a bell in me. A gong, really. And the funny thing is, I have no ability to tell you exactly what led to what. All I know is that with that final banter back and forth, I felt very different. Perhaps the awakening was independent of the stimulus. Be that as it may, I felt happy and intact, whole, and incredibly sleepy when it was time to go to bed.

 

I put myself to sleep by reading Kryon. I had just received an email from his organization, and it moved me to re-read his profound message about lighthouses and filters. Phenomenal. I knew I was profoundly working. I was having bleedthroughs before I finally knocked out... lots of messages, some visual weirdness, and what I call DICTATION. It is a steady stream of highly intelligent monologues. I can tap in whenever I like, but usually just tune it out. Last night somebody had it on a pole, blasting from a speaker for me.

 

So I went to sleep in a swirl of ecstasy, and awakened grinning from ear to ear, remarking again and again at how marvelously everything is in place. I have no details, no visuals. Just having such a profound and keen sense of wonder and fun. It was an awesome way to wake up. The work shift I had just recovered from was especially difficult because I experienced severe chest pain throughout. A sharp, non-cardiac pain above and behind my physical heart. My heart rate was elevated, sometimes in the 110's. But I had been saturating OK, and felt only a little light headed, so I let it ride, all through the night and right up until I passed out into my wonderful sleep.

 

Awakening from such a deep and restorative sleep was a treat, because I had no pain. None at all, even where I always still hold a seed of pain, under my left arm, down that arm, with tingling and weakness in the right thumb and wrist. All clear, no problem. Just so happy things were going so well.

 

I said out loud that I felt it very important to stay with this energy and see where it would take me, so if it was deemed possible to have a pleasant time on the money I could take home having just worked two shifts, I would like to be canceled.

 

I rode the energy all day and into the night... I was canceled.

 

While still having to anticipate working that night, I had took the down time, the relaxing time, the wake up time to explore a link I found on youtube when I searched with the word “ascension”.

 

See, the last few days, I have been telling Them with all the authority of my soul, that I want to know more about our ascension. I want to have as much knowledge as is currently available. No more secreting knowledge from myself, bottle necking it up to prove a point. The point was taken, lesson learned, the night before, on my way home from work: I found no solace among men not because men are evil or inherently unkind. I found no solace among men, and found pain and horror by their hand, because I needed to understand that only I am the source of my good. As such, I work cooperatively with my physical environment to teach myself and to embody compassion and great love. I stay aware for signs and for inner integration, through outer dissonance and peace. This is my path. And this path leads to all good things. I have been trained to think it leads to ascension, but HOW ascension will play out has been plaguing me. Until now.

 

I had chuckled myself to sleep the night before, finally realizing that the reason I have been alone for 15 years, and with absolutely no interest in having any form of sexual relationship is not because I am weird, mentally ill, physically grotesque, or socially retarded. Nope. I set it up this way because I knew that I would be so goddamned lonely here on Earth, especially without The Teachers around, that if I had found a perfect union with a human being, I would never have progressed soulically. I would have found it so delightful to find another soul I could tolerate, given how crappy I felt being here on Earth, that I would have opted out of ascension.

 

Got it. Makes sense.

 

I giggled so much about that.

 

So as I waking up yesterday, I searched the word “ascension” into the youtube search engine. I stumbled upon Danny Searle's work, and I have been in heaven since.

 

Of course, I peppered Danny's videos with David Wilcox's and Pane Andov's. These three men swirled in my consciousness, and then some beautiful manifestations began to occur. I stumbled upon websites using the same language as The Teachers.

 

I know that the last sentence means absolutely nothing to you. But it is the only way The Teachers have to confirm for me that I have the real article in my grasp. They arenow using my reality to instruct. Because I asked them to. It is only because I love them so much that I recognize them in the synchonicities which have been occurring for me in the last few hours. I miss them always, and love them so much. When they do insert themselves in my reality I know that they are confirming fact. They never led me wring. They never lied to me. They reminded me of deep and great understandings. They are not God, far from it, but they rub elbows.

 

In the early 1990's, a group called The Teachers were channeled through an acquaintance of mine. I now recognize them as 6^th level Beings, as high as 7^th level, they taught us individually and collectively about ascension, end times, the various beings co-habitating the Earth with us, coming earth shifts, the mechanics and sacred knowledge behind ascension, behind the spiritual side of science, how to use the physical realm as a tool for spiritual enlightenment, etc.

 

The ascended 12-12-93, with the help of our merry band of misfits. We were all a bit crestfallen that we were not able to effect a wave of ascension on the 12-12, but that speaks more to our general sense of power and hope than to our inability to get the thing off the ground.

 

The Teachers ascended, They had told us that once they did, they would be unable to come speak with us again. And for twenty years I roamed the Earth, looking for their language, their teachings. Some people have more of the feel of it than others, but no one even comes close to Danny Searle. This is such a crisp clear light.

 

And I feel I have aged considerably in the last 24 hours. I now understand what to expect, and my role in things. At least better than before. Of course there are things that I choose to keep hidden from myself. I do like a good mystery. The drama is fun, and the lessons are more explosive when I don't have conscious knowledge.

 

Big huge ass understanding, front and center, last few hours: get ready for the reverse of the things you hav eknown. The polarities are not random. You a re to know all sides. This is the graduate program. You have already seen integration of many of the mysteries with which you have walked. Now they get bigger. More intense, more rewarding, more gratifying, more unifying. Just get ready, because this is, yes this IS the FUN PART. It is absolutely impossible to backslide. It is an energetic, a physical and a metaphysical impossibility. Stop that worry. That's just ego. That's just littlemind. It only gets better now.

 

Anyway...

 

The last few hours have proven to me that this is the big one, and to have no fear about how or when I will ascend. I hold no more doubt that anything less than Very Large Things are about to occur.

 

The debunkers are quite persuasive, and very entertaining. I wonder if they know the fear I hold in my heart when I consider that ascension, planetary changes, complete change of consciousness will NOT soon occur quite soon? It can be overpowering at times. This reaction fades as I consider the truth. The integration. The koans that are being cracked by my heart and mind and body and soul on nearly a daily basis now.

 

I am moving to a frequency which is revealing to me divine wisdom and inner peace.

 

Now, do want to know the best part, the juiciest part of the most playfully original bit of truth out there?

 

I can do all this... access my merkabah, hear my friends' messages (and I am beginning to see them too), purify my food, drink and smokes before during and after my enjoyment of them, educate my kid, sit in my recliner and read, get in a car and go see a movie, call up my friend and interpret our dreams, get up and make a cup of raspberry tea, and go to sleep at the end of it and reconnect with source. And I can do all of this fully conscious. Each task deliciously pleasurable, no task tainted by dread, hopelessness, fear or despair.

 

Because I was open to Danny's words on soul ages, I have a peace that I cannot shake. All the silliness happening politically, indeed happening on my own Facebook page, is young- and mature-soul stuff. Played out on the backdrop of the psychosis of infant and baby souls doing what they do best.

 

How can I hate them? Whatever framework you then use to evaluate your reality, the concept that each set of belief structures, imperatives and social norms one finds belie a level of maturity. Do I hate an infant for being consumed with their own survival? Do I hate a toddler for wielding a knife carelessly? Do I hate a child who consistently ruins things by trying to get their own way? Do I hate a teenager who refuses to consider any point of view other than his own? Do I hate a young adult obsessionally assigning meaning and depth to their emotional dramas? And do I hate the old man who needs to stay in, enjoying a nice sandwich, some tea and some company?

 

No.

 

I really am quite saddened that we have let the babies run amok, and have chosen not to smack their hand. But I think that just may be because the Ancients among us know that we are all getting an awesome smack down pretty soon, and it is best to just let this whole thing play out.

 

Danny's discussion of old souls' tasks really hit home. One is that you are not released from physical reality until you love it, and the other is that old souls are not released until they transmit their knowledge to at least one other being.

 

And with that thought I made my coffee for the day and realized why this impetus to write was inborn in me, why I refused to do it until I had more answers than questions, and why I feel such deep gratification when I discover that even one person has read what I have produced.

 

So I will continue to explore, and to write. They are love letters to you, love letters to myself. Just ways to tell the story in yet another way, the age old story of loss and gain, unbalance and integration, alienation and redemption.

 

This is my story, written to us, read by some, cherished into wholeness by The One.