DEEPLY AWAKE - POEM - HAD I NOT

 

DEEPLY AWAKE – HAD I NOT

 

Had I not been over there,

I would now not be here and

Had that occurred here, I would

not have known myself over there.

 

And so it goes,

around and around they

never told me it

would be like

this

Around I go and

nearly flung off a

time or two around

again and

here we go come

to a stop

 

Here

 

Overlooking this green park,

spent, arms dangling from the

metal rods of the whirly gig

 

Letting the sweat drip down, darkening the blue stripes in my sweater,

My feet are hot, my side itches, I wish I had sunglasses, I am thirsty.

 

Listening to the birds hollering at each other,

 

Watching the swarm of ants near my foot as they do their gatherer dance

 

clouds tamping down our native excitement,

 

sun comes out again, heating it all up, cooking us one and all in the

 

curious light of mid-afternoon.

 

Had I been late for that appointment,

Had I taken the time to listen to messages this morning,

Had I not made that second bathroom stop before the news came on the radio,

had he not asked for a date and had

she not said yes and had

I not been willing and had

all my friends not shown up and had

these jeans been in the dirty clothes and had

you not been at home that day,

 

Would I be here

right now

twirling on an old set of retired park equipment in

this park on

this day at

this hour

 

Leaning back,

looking at those clouds, right there, no, right over there, see?

And be thinking of you,

deep in the eye of this now storm

quietly and

tenderly thinking

only,

now,

of

you.