Each of us have fears that drive us, even if we do not acknowledge them. They cause us to avoid situations. They cause us to not speak our truth, to live less than our full potential. It makes for a mixed energy inside that wants to go one direction, our soul's calling and the other direction, the voice of fear. Fear can be a friend. It can be a guidance system. It can also be the ego's voice that holds us back from our greatness.

I have been sick for almost a week. Today is the first day that I am feeling good. I feel a million times better than I have in a week, but I still only feel about 60% healthy. I missed a lot of work and I have to be okay with that. I can't change it now, and I hope to be out of this job before the middle of the year anyhow. I just have to be patient.

I was supposed to go to the doctor yesterday. I did not. I don't like doctors and they probably would have just given me a prescription for anti-biotics that I'm not sure if I would have been able to take, due to my beliefs. I am glad that I didn't go.As I thought, this wasn't a "physical" illness at all. It was a metaphysical one.

I would imagine it all started with my last meeting with my boss. One of the last questions she asked me was if I liked what I was doing. Of course, the first thing that popped into my head was "NOO!!!!". I wasn't brave enough to say that, though. I said yes, and immediately looked at the floor.

I have always had problems with my throat. I had a cyst when I was in high school that I had to have surgery to get it removed. For as long as I can remember, I would get terrible sore throats 2 - 3 times a year. Always, I'd go to the doctor. They'd tell me "that's about the worst sore throat I've seen in a while." Always, the strep and mono tests would come back negative. I'd be given a prescription for anti-biotics and be on my way. Never was it, what could be causing this. Why are you getting these sore throats so frequently. Now I know, of course, that I have problems expressing myself and speaking my truth.

I  come from the answer, not the question. In a death experience you learn so much of what this reality truly is and what it is truly not. There no difference that you can compare it to, your imagination can not reproduce it from the telling of someone's story experience. What you hear and the way you hear it, goes beyond the 5 senses. It goes above and beyond far away from the senses, living in the 5 senses is always what we truly know until something shatters that reality. Even a small glimpse of something spiritual begins to unteather the reality.

Most are seeking from the questions to the answer, coming from the answer is knowing 

being caught in two worlds, this and the next as some have done excellent job in coming from the questions to the answer in there openness and how they realize the internal workings.

Is easy to say, you can repeat memorize words of others and reflect from the mind sounds wonderful and never touches the heart, where the pain and suffering lies, when people talk and revel from the soul do you hear the crying.

I awoke in a vision state once there was a noise that awoke me, i could see a shadow on the other side of the room it was crying sobbing it was curled up tight, it was staring at me I could intuitively feel it, I went over to this shadow to see who this was, than i felt it, saw it, it was me apart of me that was alone and cold without love desiring me to love it, staring at me while I slept night after night, I never realized it was there, how did apart of me get there in such a state. I reach out and hugged it loved it and I instantly woke up.