ughhh! i guess here is where i must confess.

i dont know why i feel so drawn to this site when it comes to talking about my experiences and growth, well, i know i receive amazing advice from awesome people, and i misinterpret things at first due to excitement overwhelming me when things CLICK and finally piece themselves together. im blinded by the light i guess i would say these days, ahahaha =p  but "they" always make sure i straighten myself out and understand where i am mislead fromt he joy lol. its embarassing but its funny, im sure yall know what im talking about =p  

anyways. im here to confess something, im pretty aware but these times get pretty rough. its weird how "rough" has taken on a whole new meaning these days, but anyways, i have noticed i do these cycles, i go thru periods of time that i refer to as full circle periods except, i visualize it spiraling upwards and getting bigger and wider as each full circle cycle completes for me.  

every time one of these cycles happen, i go thru probly a week or two of intense spiritual experinces, visuals appear instantly when i close my eyes, even blinking sometimes can be distracting when driving, im always seeing things in that blink and sometimes its tempting to hold my eyes closed a lil bit longer. besides the instant meditative awareness states induced just by closing my eyes, i get intense goosebumps at most random times, and i always feels something is around me somewhere. i will watch inspirational videos of ufo's, learn about different alien races (i hate using the word "alien", but its all i could come up with for this lol) research into strange things but at the time is perfect, not strange, if that makes sense. i will also have very vivid dreams that feel real in a unique way, they r not repetitive, but in the same settings with the same people, sometimes i die in those dreams, but i dont die in real life of course. its like checking out by observing in my dreams, but feeling like im living somewhere else! multiple laces! also, sometimes supernatural things materialze which i have also posted about on here. the most intense its gotten i think, in a physical manifestation i mean, is probably when i went to a church (which is a personal obstacle to overcome for me) and sat thru a sermon or whatever they are called and dealt with the annoting stand up and sing about being a slave to religion crap. and i did it all just to say a prayer, which had me crying more than i ever did in my life, in front of everybody not even caring since they were all strangers anyways, and sitting after ther service to talk with an usher who i feel may have been a guardian angel for a few reasons, who said a prayer with me, and invited me to add my own prayer when he finished. he hardly talked at all, he only listened to my outpout of emotions and why i felt i was lead there by my heart and in my prayer i brought the light to that church, its surrounded and grounded by archangel michael, uriel, jeshua, gaia herself, jesus, mary, magdalene, and if orgot who else i called on in that prayer. i dont know how to pray so i dunno how i did lol. anyways... the rest of my confession now. before i lose your interest =x

so the next part of the cycle, i always end up in a void feeling. i dont care to research at all into the things i was sooo interested in for a couple weeks prior, i will try sometimes but realize i gotta be in a certain mood to actually take in and absorb what im supposed 2 learn when watching and reading things.  i always think bout this stuff tho, my family, who is watching me particularly, like who is my main voice inside, i look at the skies even when im driving more than the roads lol, i cant stop thinking, but all i can do is wonder and think im answering things myself. its like as if i was given the tools over those couple weeks, given the experiences i needed to wonder about, and now is my period of time to use what i learned and apply it to my ascension process..? i feel this way and wonder if its accurate bc of my vision i get when i feel im just spiraling upwards full circle becoming more and more aware and balanced. 

does anyone else go thru this? has anybody else been thru it? am i dead on with my suspiscions or am i a lil off or way off or what? any advice? i have learned so much... i feel connected to so much more of my surroundings, this is obviously what im here to do, go thru this spiraling process. thats how this all feels to me! i hope i am not alone. 

other stuff:
for those who know what this stuff im about to say means, feel free to help me understand more thoroughly. they r things i have heard from some of yall on here, but havent figured out yet and always wonder about. 

im a golden christed being? not any info availble barely at all for this =\ 
my color i felt most connected to all my life is green, the heart chakra is where i am most active and was drawn to when learning how to meditate. 

my twin flame has been "sparked", the IAM presence literally took me over and physically showed me that green, its a type of turquoise, blue/green spiraling in unison with white kinda fogging from the center. and before that i was "saved" in my first astral projection dream experence i did not induce myself and was frightened in.. 

my (or light being's)name/ship? creon/drivon
i have a rock i have had since i was a lil kid that that i picked out and feel instantly in love with before my parents bought it for me, its the same exact color of that green variant. its been with me all my life, im 25. its a month until my 26 bday =D 

im no n00d as far as experiences go no matter how much my age screams it, so dont hold back feel free, actually, i invite you to go as deep as you want if you have anything you wanna say. 

i appreciate you reading this, love and light! 

p.s. this full circle cycle is the entire reason i havent had anything to post about on here lately. i might be a stranger all over again, so many new people have joined! =p 

-steve