All believers are disbelievers -- they may be Hindus, they may be Christians, they may be Jainas. I know all of them: all believers are disbelievers, because belief brings disbelief, it is the shadow of belief. Can you believe without disbelieving? It is impossible; it cannot be done in the nature of things. If you want to disbelieve, the first requirement is to believe. Can you believe without any disbelief entering from the back door? Or can you disbelieve without having any belief in the first place? Believe in God, and immediately the disbelief comes in. Believe in afterlife and disbelief arises. Disbelief is secondary, belief is primary.
And what you want to do is what millions of people in the world want to do: they don't want the disbelief, they want only the belief. I cannot help, nobody can help. If you only are interested in belief, you will have to suffer the disbelief also. You will remain divided, you will remain split, you will remain schizophrenic. You cannot have the feel of organic unity; you yourself have barred it from happening.
What's my suggestion? First, drop believing. Let beliefs be dropped, they are all rubbish!
-Rajneesh
