I don't want to, but I have to.

yourgypsysoul's picture

I don't know what I'm writing when I start this. It has something to do with my heart feeling cold, though.


There's a positive and negative to everything. I haven't been meditating daily, like I know I should. I'm recogizing the differences now. Postive and negative. Dark and light.


When I don't meditate, I'm cold. I know I'm cold. My heart is cold and mine and that's it. I recogize others, but I don't really seeeeee them.


When I do meditate I am warm. I am kind. I am compassionate. I am miserable.




You heard me, I am miserable.


That doesn't make sense.


When I do meditate, I am giggly and I am nice and I am warm, I am so warm. My heart is warm and soft. I wake up in the mornings and cry and cry and cry. I don't want to keep living in this 3D world. The thought of getting out of bed, and going out in 3D rattles me.


So when I don't meditate. I still smile. I'm still kind, but I am hard and cold.


It's not something I think that others notice the way I do. They still see the smile, they still get treated kindly. But not as kindly as they could.


I don't want to venture into that 3D world, but I have to.


When I don't meditate, I can get by. I don't have an aching feeling in my heart, a longing for something better.


What's worse? I'll tell you.

When I don't meditate, there's nothing pushing me. I'm "content", for lack of a better word. I don't realize that aching and longing, it's hidden inside of me. Buried in the layers of density from 3D living to keep it hiding from me, so it's not there to give me that motivation.


I don't want to go out in the 3D world, but I have to. I have to because someday, I won't have to.


Does that make sense?



Happy 2013!

yourgypsysoul's picture

Hello friends, and Happy 2013! It’s going to be a great year, I can feel it. I don’t have any resolutions, per-say, but I do have some self-improvements. I tend to try and change too much at at a time, so I am trying to take it easy (it’s not going very well.) But here are a few items I’d like to try for the new year:

- In bed by 10:00 and up by 6:00 every day
- Meditate daily
- do my lessons each day

Not to mention my HUGE goal of getting out of the corporate workplace and starting my own holistic business. With that in mind, I’ve set up a donation page. There, you can find more about what I’d like to do and how you can help. As a thank-you I will add you to my Reiki Blessing list.

One thing I’d like to do more of in the new year is get in touch with my God-Self. So it was just my luck that I was inspired by my Higher Self to do a daily affirmation practice. I plan on meditating with the affirmation for 15 minutes each day. I probably won’t make a post about it each day, unless something profound happens. But I will do a weekly post about it. Mostly likely on Tuesdays, since that is what today is! Some weeks I may even get ambitious and make a video post, holy cow!

I’m guided to start with an affirmation to accept myself just how I am, part of which was quoted by Shakti Gawain and pulled from the Jan/Feb 2013 issue of Spirituality & Health -

I am worthy of love from myself and from Spirit. I can call on Spirit anytime I need or want extra clarity, wisdom, knowledge, support, creative inspiration, love or companionship.”

Love & Light and Blessings for a wonderful 2013.


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