When you meet a woman and you fall in love, she is a person. Sooner or later you reduce her into a thing - she becomes a wife. A wife is a thing; a woman is a person. If you really love any woman you will not reduce her to a wife. A wife is a function. If you really love a man you will not reduce him to a husband. A husband? It is a legal contract, a formality. To be in love with a man, undefined, indefinable, has beauty; to reduce him to a contract, to reduce him to a function, to reduce him to a husband, means you have reduced him into a thing.
But whatsoever you do, a person remains a person and he cannot be reduced into a thing. And that creates trouble. The wife remains a woman, whatsoever you think. She remains a woman. You can believe that she is a wife, but still she is a woman - vast, unpredictable. That creates trouble.
You would like her to be as predictable as a thing, as your car, as your tape recorder, as your TV - predictable, manipulatable, controllable, always obedient. And she tries, but still there is something inside her which is not a thing at all - a no-thing, a freedom. That asserts. And whenever that freedom asserts, there is trouble.
And you also have that freedom, and whenever your freedom asserts there is trouble.
-Rajneesh