"I fall asleep during the lectures, and I feel tired - like I'm being shattered."
So get shattered! Why are you resisting? Why are you creating any trouble? Just get shattered and be finished with it. Once you are shattered there is no problem - no tightness, no shakiness. If you resist, it continues. There is no need to resist. Just allow it and let it be settled. You just have a good laugh, that's all.
The problem arises because we go on doing contrary things.
My whole effort is to shatter you. And your whole effort is to protect yourself. Then shakiness arises and you feel a trembling inside and everything feels disturbed. You want one thing and I am trying to do something else. I am trying to destructure you so your old armour is no more there. I am trying to break the shell so you can come out of your egg - and you are trying to protect it. So of course you feel shaky and troubled and tired and tight.
-Rajneesh
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