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Amazing Facebook Status Update

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I want to let my Facebook Family know that I graduated into Spiritual Adulthood yesterday. I was confronted once again with someone who should only show me love who did his very best to shame, subjugate and minimize me. What did I do? How did I respond? Uncharacteristically. I smiled. I breathed deeply. I loved. I finally rejected as false the supposition that I am small, powerless and worthy of humiliation. Further, I loved that man right back into a place of union, fellowship, acceptance and wholeness. His need to keep me small is from his unhappy distortions, not because I am indeed small. I loved him. We parted as friends. I am free. I know who and what I am. I am love. Because that is my nature, and my true identity, I can now give out freely to all that which is my divine birthright. I am unable to accept distorted definitions of myself as accurate. I see these distortions now as reflections of the other's pain, fear, sadness. They are not me. And I now can reflect love back to the ones who cannot see clearly. I love all. But I will no longer accept shit sandwiches and call them yummy. I can identify a shit sandwich when I see one. I thank the chef. I appreciate the gesture. I take the chef into his kitchen, and together we make a nice salad. I do not shame the chef. After all, he had the good grace too offer me sustenance. I am careful to appreciate the effort. Together we enjoy our meal, and we part company nourished. I think this is what the next little bit is going to be about. Transmuting shit sandwiches into salads. In Jesus' day, it was water into wine. I fail to see the difference. Love to my virtual community, strength to we Earth-bound angels, joy to the world.

I FEEL MY ASCENSION IS IMMINENT. PLEASE READ COMMENT SHARE

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MY ASCENSION FEELS IMMINENT AND I CALL OUT FOR SUPPORT

 

I have had an unusual month. Those who follow my blog know of a portion of the weirdness afoot in my reality. I have been given the freaking ropes course, and I was really just hanging on by my fingernails until the equinox.

 

I am certain I am not the only one who noticed how absolutely PURE the energy has been since the equinox. Pure and sweet. Loving and fierce. Astoundingly strong.

 

And then, yesterday, a miracle happened. To be more accurate, I co-created a miracle yesterday. A miracle of such astounding mercy, such overwhelming unconditional love. I will not go into details. People who read my work will know this is uncharacteristic. But I honor this individual too much to intimate anything but his well hidden divinity.

 

I proved to myself and my support that I am now no longer a novitiate, but a Master.

 

And these last two days, rather independent of this personal drama, I am having intense physical symptoms which I can only describe as pre-ascension prep.

 

Please read my entry about A Special Graduation, May 25, 2012. Whether what I experienced that day was an NDE due to a crappy ticker or conscious co-creation of my evolving soul's plan for ascension I will leave to your discernemnt. But the same sensations are bearing down on me with increasing urgency, increasing vigor.

 

OOPS. THE LIGHT WAS ON. I HAD MY EYES SHUT.

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Yesterday, as many of you know, I lost my way and, in desperation and in hope, I called out for help. I wrote an entry called HELP: LIGHTWORKER GONE DARK. The response was overwhelming. 

 

I am in the debt of those who went out of their way to write me words of encouragement, and to those who held me in their thoughts. My words of pain did not lead to humiliation or lectures or silence. People, my people, cared and showed it. You guys helped heal me.

 

Here is the truth to what happened to me. I worked a shift expressly to have the money for paying off a traffic ticket due September 23. After work I found some shad behind a building, parked my car and read my eamils, clearing my head before having to pick up and take of my son. A very odd officer felt what I was doing was, in his words, "weird." He demanded my home address. My son's address. My purpose. Even though we started the converstation with establishing what I was doing was indeed legal, the harrassment continued.

 

Eventually the officers let me go, then followed me, then pulled me over, ran my license and said my outstanding traffic ticket was actually in the warrant phase. They handcuffed me. They searched my car. They called me names. They were evil to me. They truly were evil, because they saw evil where none existed.

 

HELP: LIGHTWORKER GONE DARK

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LIGHTWORKER GONE DARK

How is this possible?

 

I have been awake, fully awake and conscious, since January 25, 2012. I have been studying, remembering, meditating, networking, exploring, and, most, lightening up.

 

And here I am in the dark.

 

I had a traumatic experience a week ago, and I am still experiencing the fear which raged through my reality like a frightful tsunami. I feel its diminishing waves brushing the peace I have come to know.

 

Yesterday, in an effort to find peace, I went to my guru who gave me a conscious reading, and then assisted me through deep hypnosis. For the first time in my life, I had a meaningful past life regression. I explored aspects of myself I did not know existed. I saw myself in four lives, each with quite discrete and simple lessons which were learned, experiences accumulated.

KIRTAN

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KIRTAN

 

Last night, I was canceled from my shift. I remembered seeing an email about Kirtan, an ancient chanting ceremony that my church holds monthly. I'd always been interested, but Friday nights off are hard to come by. I got showered and traveled to the same neighborhood as the hospital, at the same time I would normally be going to work. It was nice to know that I was so protected and guided.

 

I never fret when I am canceled, because I see this as my guides enforcing other kind of activity. I have had some amazing experiences on my canceled nights off, and this night was no exception.

 

The sanctuary was gently lighted with white Christmas lights and many votive candles, much flickering, and such a delicate beauty was struck in the room. There was an altar, and the stage was beautifully and lushly appointed with Hindu posters and Indian cloths. I could sense this was going to be an important night for communication.

 

I began to meditate, shoes off, no rubber insulating my generation of energy... I purposefully sat under a light. When I would look up it felt like Them, like when They've visited me in the past.

 

I got the message, loud and clear and CLOSE, “we are RIGHT here”

 

It Just Comes Down to Love

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Oh, the torturous and complex few days I have had. Dealing with the issues of judgement, stretching to give myself permission to HAVE opinions, but then immediately I would pull away. I never feel completely justified in not liking someone. It makes me sweat. But some people are so unlikeable.

 

Let me explain.

 

Two nights ago I worked with someone who acted really weird. I could feel him very loudly. He is plain and unassuming, but his energy fairly hollers at me. Even so, this man refused to give me eye contact, refused to greet me, talked to me, briefly, three times in twelve hours, and was as uncivil with our psychiatric patients as he was with me. He was eerily animated with a few of the staff. Because he was such a sour puss, I was glad to see him getting along with somebody, anybody. However, then something weird began to take place.

 

By the way, my other colleague was also as as cold as ice. Not mean, not hostile. Pleasant, actually. But cold. Guarded. Shut tighter than a drum. I read a lot that night.

 

It was the man's behavior that really got my goat. As the shift progressed, I got more and more chapped that here is this guy who can be decent to other people, but he treats me, and the patients (!) like crap. Good God, did the judgements start flying. And the more judgement I indulged in, the farther and farther off course I began to feel.

 

That's when the questions came up:
How can I reconcile hating someone with having to love them? How do I deal with someone who literally acts as if I am not there? Is this disdain? Contempt? Resignation? Prejudice? How will it be possible to ascend as a planet, as a people, when people suffering to this degree, acting out badly and hurting others in the process... how are we going to even pull this thing off? Everything could be solved with kindness. No it can't! Yes it can!

 

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