DEEPLY AWAKE – TOMORROW

I have been waking up with huge packets of information reeling off in my head, and I have had some awakenings lately.

And tomorrow is the 12-12-12. The big day.

I want to say, “So, here is my take on tomorrow, and what I am getting about the solstice...” but I am no expert. I just went downstairs to get my day going, and my car doesn't start. It turns over, but that is all it does.

So how can I sit on any kind of pretend throne and distribute anything to people kind enough to read these words, when my own creations crap out on me.

I have reached the long end of an energetic road.

I am encountering dark and light in immediate and real ways now. I see choices and probabilities and possibilities, for instance, in how I will get my car started again. But this whole scene adds a person I did not necessarily want contact with, and adds a wrinkle to this day that I would never, ever have consciously called forth. Ugh.

And that's the weird thing about this next bit.

DEEPLY AWAKE – BRINGING IT ALL HOME

Here, now, is the time for integration.

I have always felt a bit of reluctance writing, especially about my process, which, after all, is the core of expression, to combine, integrate, destroy and rebuild. Understanding has, until recently, been fragmented, scattered, necessarily compartmentalized.

Now is the time to allow all aspects to return home, within.

This morning, Sam once again told me about the shadows he sees, especially at night. These shadows scare him, and he is convinced of their malevolent nature, feeling menacing, potentially dangerous and lurking, always lurking.

It dawned on me what is really going on as we walked to the car, preparing for the quick drive to school. I told him, these are aspects of yourself, pieces of your awareness that are wanting to come home to rest within you. They are darker, shadowy, because they have gone unnoticed, unlanguaged, undefined. That's all. They play upon the walls to get your attention.

What is a shadow? Is it solid? Does it have the ability to pick up the phone and call you? Can a shadow be hugged or kicked? A shadow is proof that light is shining very near by, but there is something interrupting the light from shining clearly. That's all. A Shadow is your way of knowing that you have a present, a gift, very close to your imagination which the deeper part of you wants you to unwrap.

He asked me last night, how do you think I am doing?